An Introvert’s Goals
I usually do Fashion Friday if I have time to blog on a Friday, but instead today I’m feeling some reflections on this morning’s therapy session (yes I go to therapy – have been since I started my recovery – and I used to be ashamed of it but now I’m comfortable saying it benefits me and I don’t know many people it COULDN’T benefit). I explained to Bridget that I’ve been feeling pulled in a thousand different directions and I thought that after I handed in my big MBA capstone on Monday I’d be feeling better, but on Tuesday morning I woke up in one of those I-hate-anyone-who-tries-speaking-to-me moods and last night I dropped some salsa on the floor, it spilled everywhere, and I started sobbing. So I’m still feeling lots of (non-MBA-related) pressure.
I’ve met so many new friends since I started this blog, and they mean so very much to me, but I also am finding it hard to balance seeing them as often as I’d like, attending all the events I want to attend, accepting all the opportunities the blog brings me, keeping up a regular fitness schedule, and getting my homework done. And I thought completing my MBA would clear my super-filled plate a great deal?! Still plenty of other stuff going on!
Like Frog Hollow Social Club‘s second meeting at Firebox in Hartford this past Monday night…surely a blast and so glad I went, but I missed a weeknight in!
This brings me to my conversation with Bridget this morning. She pointed out that aside from solo gym trips, what’s missing on my plate is me-time. “You’re an introvert!” she declared. I immediately pictured someone sitting around the house, avoiding people like the plague – and that is so not me. But she proceeded to explain that introverts do not hate being around others. On the contrary, they quite enjoy it – as long as they get their me-time too. “Introverts,” Bridget elaborated, “are just people who re-charge when they’re alone”.
Solo spin class – the gym is probably the place I am most often by myself, and I love it.
Can I ever relate to THAT. During the winter, my Saturday/Sunday morning and afternoon sessions at Daybreak Coffee Roasters were my solo re-charge time. As the weather has begun to warm up, I’ve started making more plans with friends for fun daytime weekend activities like food tours and vineyard visits. I adore my friends and the fun times we have been sharing together, but it’s been getting progressively harder each day to ignore the fact that I really, really am missing my me-time.
Taking care of myself is about giving myself what I need to re-charge, be it rest days (still working on it), days when I leave studying by the wayside (AKA all the days of the future because I’m done with school, holla), and days when I don’t see that many people and can spend my time exactly how I’d like to.
I prefer to spend my lunch breaks solo – and outside if possible.
It’s also about disconnecting – I’ve noticed more than ever lately that I’m getting the technology-and-FOMO addiction. I can’t seem to look away from my phone when I hear it go off. I always have to be on Instagram, Twitter, what have you while I’m waiting in line for something, waiting for my gas to pump, etc. I need to force myself to disconnect.
What my evenings in should look like – wine, powerbowl, no phone.
So I’m establishing some self-love goals to keep myself accountable, because declaring goals here on the blog has worked well in the past.
I will schedule me-time in my weeknights and weekends: I still do pretty well at going out only one weeknight per week. This has been a nice balance for me and I haven’t felt like I’ve been missing out on the weeknight events I pass up. If anything it helps me prioritize and I only do what’s most important and/or fun to me when I go out on my one weeknight. But with summer coming, I need to think before I plan. A jam-packed Saturday afternoon may seem fabulous at the time its planned out, but the summer weekend afternoon is also the perfect time to sit outside by a pool or outside of Daybreak sipping iced coffee and reading or blogging. Ah, bliss.
I will schedule time-off from technology: Why do I need to be on the computer all day at work AND have my iPhone at my side? I’m going to make an effort to leave my phone in my purse for a good chunk of my work day, and keep it there. I also am going to make an effort to leave my phone downstairs charging in my room before going upstairs for dinner-and-DVR time during my weeknights in.
Snack, book. No phone needed.
I am going to stop trying to people-please, and be honest about why I turn down plans: I always get so afraid that when I say no to a happy hour or a weekend day-trip, whoever I’m saying no to is going to take a HUGE personal offense to my invite decline, and will get mad at me. So, I sometimes find myself making up excuses – I feel dumb just saying “I want to stay in”. This is my ego talking – people do NOT get personally offended when I turn them down, even if I do so just because I don’t feel like going out.
Real friends get it!
I’m getting excited as I type this post because I know if I follow these goals, then Caitlin the Introvert will get her me-time to recharge and be less stressed. Thanks to my visit with Bridget this morning, I know the true meaning of an introvert and I can proudly declare that I am one – while also planning to go out both tonight and tomorrow night 😀
Do you re-charge by being alone or being around others?
What have always been your definitions of an introvert and an extrovert?
Do you ever find yourself having to make an effort not to overextend yourself?
Are you too-technology-addicted for your liking?
