25 Things From 19 Year Old Me
I was perusing Facebook yesterday and stumbled upon one of those “Notes” (a feature that kinda seemed to die out…maybe FB was trying to become more blog-esque?) that you could publish publicly. I wrote it in response to a 25-things survey that was going around. The best part is I wrote this on 2/19/09…AKA I was nineteen years old.
There’s no way I cannot a) share it with you all and b) comment (in italics) on each item in the list. It’s pretty interesting to see where I am now versus almost FIVE years later! Also, please note the lack of capitalization and constant use of abbrevs. I’m leaving all that in the list; gotta publish it exactly as I wrote it in February 2009!
25 Things: From the Mind of 19 Year Old Caitlin
1. i haven’t done this thing until now because i don’t want people to think i’m extremely self-centered, sitting minutes thinking about myself, but i’m bored now in marketing. Classic me worrying what other people think and fearing I’d appear self-centered, so I addressed that immediately in note #1.
2. i pay attention least in my marketing class, even though it’s my major. and i pay attention most in calc II, even though i hate it most. Well that makes sense. If I zoned out in one minute of Calc II I’d have been doomed for the entire chapter. Sorry marketing but you are easy to study up on later.
3. in high school i couldn’t stand a night that i didn’t go out, but now i appreciate a few nights at home alone. I certainly went back into a going-out-stage my senior year of college. Then I retreated into a bit of a nights-in shell by the time I started this blog…but now I’m back on a going-out kick. I just have to constantly remind myself that I’ve got a good balance going.
4. i don’t really like it when people assume i don’t do much because i’m a business major. it’s what i really want to do and it isn’t just me trying to breeze through school. there are harder majors out there, but i’m not interested. I definitely was one of the hardest working business majors I knew. The same goes for my MBA!
5. relating to above, i hate science, and have since middle school. i’ve always known i never wanted a major that would require me to study science in any amount. Almost still true. I did end up taking Intro to Nutrition during my senior year, purely for fun (it literally fulfilled no major or minor requirements). I enjoyed it and if I had the time and money, I think I’d go back to school to take more Nutrition classes. I also think I’d enjoy learning more about psychology related to mental illness, like EDs.
6. i want to go into business in fashion but i’m afraid i’m not creative enough. i’m more of a trend follower than a trend creator. I still love fashion but don’t have the same passion for it that I do for restaurants, mixology, healthy living, etc. So I definitely don’t see myself going into the fashion business. I’m still a trend follower, I admit it, and I’ll leave it to the fashionistas to create the trends!
7. i hate it when a facebook album has something like 57 or 59 photos in it. i’ve always got to add more, even if they’re totally unrelated, to put it at 60. Well now that’s certainly not true. My albums contain so many random numbers of photos and they got rid of the 60 photo limit on Facebook. Much of the time I wish they didn’t do this. Then I realize that I take forever to post pictures to Facebook and post them 6 months after I take them, so I should really just get over it.
8. i have way too many clothes, accessories, etc. but i love them and figure one day i’ll be on a budget and won’t be able to buy them for fun. and when that day comes, i’ll have enough stuff to hold me over for years, and then i’ll never spend any money on clothes! I pathetically am STILL holding on to this rationale. As well as some of the clothes I bought in 2009.
9. i hate makeup. it makes my face feel gross and i always rub it off anyway because i forget i’m wearing it, so it’s pointless to put it on in the first place. Since college I’ve definitely gotten a lot better about nailing down a makeup routine that is quite minimal but still adds just the right touches to brighten my eyes or make my skin more even-toned. I have just a few go-to beauty products and I’m going to try to use them more consistently! I’m certainly way more apt to at least spend five minutes on makeup, something I didn’t do much of in college until my senior year.
10. i love my hair straight so much more than how it looks naturally but i’m too lazy to straighten it most of the time. i tried getting a really good straightener that doesn’t take long but it still hasn’t made me any less lazy. Ah another relation to my New Year’s resolution! I got a lot better about putting in time to straighten my hair during my senior year. It was definitely rare to see it straightened sophomore/junior year!
11. i hate exercising. it’s just so boring! All I have to say about this is LOL.
12. i love peanut butter but i haven’t eaten it in over a month because i’m afraid i’ll get salmonella. I don’t know what the hell this was about. I don’t recall any PB salmonella scare?! My life must have been so empty in that “over a month”.
13. i change my mind a lot. i don’t like decisions. Yeah, I still don’t like decisions. Anyone who knows me well has probably had to put up with my rapid-fire mind-changing at least once or twice.
14. i only have a few regrets in my life and all of them involve choices i’ve made during friendships. I know exactly what I mean here. I lost some good friends during my senior year of high school thanks to the poor way I handled some arguments. I also am guilty of pulling a Heidi and abandoning many of my girl friends during my college relationship. I wish I could take it back now but there’s nothing I can do but acknowledge and learn from my mistakes. I believe I’ve become a better friend thanks to the valuable lessons I’ve been taught, even if it took some painful realizations to teach them to me.
15. i want to dye my hair dark brown but i’m too afraid. i think i’m saving it for a big life moment. Still saving it. Not so sure I’m so interested anymore given that I started getting blonde highlights toward the end of college! I definitely went through the whole breakup thing and still came out on the other end with hair that didn’t get dyed and/or cut off. It’s probably like that nice expensive French red wine I have hanging out in my basement…when the time is right, I’ll open it (or the box of dye…you get the comparison).
16. i really just want to see britney spears live and came so close once, but her stupid knee had to sprain or whatever. i did save $87 though. I am seriously still dying to see Britney live and I WILL get to her Vegas show! Going to a Britney contest – with decent seats – is on my bucket list.
17. i’m fascinated by criminology and shows about crimes but at the end of the day i can’t sleep at night because of them, so i know i could never actually go into it. While I am not so afraid anymore of the kidnappers or murderers surely lurking outside my house at night waiting for us all to go to sleep so they can break in (my sister is the one worrying about that nowadays), my aversion to blood (which for some reason has only gotten worse as I get older) likely makes criminology-related jobs a bad idea.
18. i’m afraid to have people angry at me so i never speak my mind unless it’s around someone i’m extremely comfortable with, like my sister or [my then-boyfriend]. that’s basically it. I’ve gotten a lot better at this! Though I still have a hard time standing up for myself, I can often do it if I talk myself up. I’ve learned that in many situations if I don’t stand up for myself, I am definitely worse off mentally. Plus the person who I stand up to likely will not be very affected by my doing so! I tend to be the one affected, not him or her.
19. whenever i read for school, i have to highlight or i’ll never pay attention. Still true.
20. i used to take pictures everywhere i went but now i never do. i’m trying to start back up again but it’s hard to get into that old habit. Another huge LOL. I think I’ve got that one fixed.
21. i love love love to dance but i’m so self conscious that i can never really do it unless i’m a little drunk. that’s probably not the way it should be but when i do get to dance, it’s so much fun. I am now okay with dancing not drunk; my confidence level permits that. But dancing with a nice buzz is always fun. I am hoping to get some dancing in this Saturday night with my good friend Molly when we go to MOHEGAN SUN!
22. so i got a nosebleed in calc class a couple days ago and now i’m probably the “nosebleed girl”. sucks, man. I forgot that ever happened until just now. It was pretty embarrassing and terrifying.
23. i love starbucks and spend too much money there but i never went before sophomore year so i figure i’m kinda spending all the money i could’ve spent in the past all at once. so it’s basically the same, right? Another ridiculous justification! At least now I can add to the justification list “supporting local businesses” since I’ve switched almost 100% from Starbucks to local cafes.
24. the only pet i ever had was a goldfish, which my dad accidentally murdered, and a couple of hermit crabs, which all eventually died. my mom promise me a dog at age 10 but i never got it because she thought i’d forget about it. i didn’t, but now i don’t think i’d ever want a pet unless it was a cat that doesn’t shed. Still feel this way. Pets are children that never grow up. That’s horrifying.
25. i’m not sure if i ever want to have kids because i think i’d rather have a career. i’m sure i’ll change my mind once i get married one day though. I feel the exact same way now except if I could find a rich man and become a real housewife and just blog and that’s it, I don’t think I’d miss the career. But given that’s not a realistic goal, I’ll stick with a better goal of finding a job in an industry I’m passionate about!
Have you ever stumbled upon a journal, survey, or something else from your past that you wrote? How had you changed since then?
Which part(s) of my list stand out to you?