Category Archives: About Me

Here Comes a Fighter

Have you entered my Mohegan Sun BrewFest giveaway yet? Don’t forget – you could win two passes to this weekend’s beer bonanza! Giveaway closes tomorrow (Wednesday 10/3) at 12PM EST.

Geez, so far fall has been extremely busy in terms of my full-time job!By the time I got home last night from my post-work gym session all I wanted to do was sit on the couch with my mom and watch the season premiere of Grey’s on the DVR with dinner. And wine. So that’s what I did – no blog post.

My setup at Art With a Twist in New Haven, CT!

But now I’m ready to blog about this past Saturday. As I mentioned in Sunday’s brief giveaway post, I have a lot to say! The day started out in typical Caitlin fashion – spin class and #plankaday, a few hours of much-needed study time at Daybreak. Then I hit the road for New Haven to have a date with Maria of Pappa Don’t Preach! We’ve never been able to do a good one-on-one hangout before, but we are two peas in a pod and I’m so grateful to have met her through blogging. She drove all the way from Stamford to meet me at Art With a Twist for a BYOB painting class! We used a Groupon🙂 of course.

Maria listening to our instructor, the fabulous Bella Zadore.

Maria did a great job sharing more photos of Art With a Twist’s lovely location, and info about the business itself, in her recap! We decided to go sweet on the booze and shared Riesling and champagne. Thanks Maria for introducing me to Asti! It was delicious.

Everyone painted the same illustration, but then everyone’s came out looking different. My water turned out a bit sickly looking, and Maria pointed out that I was just trying to paint the Long Island Sound. Truth.

Pondering the sounds of the Sound…champagne in hand.

I also must’ve still had BlogHer on the brain because my palm trees looked like Lorax mustaches.

Lorax #1

Lorax #2. He’s unimpressed. Source

I was doing a little too much hating on my painting, so Bella sprinkled me with confetti as “punishment”. Okay okay, I complained on purpose so that I could get showered in confetti. Who doesn’t love that?!

There’s a 30% chance it’s already raining.

I had a great time chatting with Maria about our gym sessions that morning (of course) and also taught her how to take silly photos. She deemed me a silly photo queen. I am honored!

Help me take silly photos, Caitlin!

Don’t mind if I do!

How amazing are the “men/women” signs for the bathrooms?! Bella is so creative! She decorated everything in Art With a Twist herself.

Blogger in action.

Despite the fact that my painting did not look like Bella’s, I’m gonna refrain from saying that it wasn’t as good as Bella’s. After all, she wasn’t painting the Long Island Sound!

It’s beauuuuutiful!

Stealing this from Maria’s post…BYO-Blend!

You are what you…paint?

After class we hit up 116 Crown for a pre-dinner cocktail. Because when you’ve been drinking since 2:30PM, why stop?

I ordered the Negroni!

Unfortunately before I could even get to the point of ordering, I had to wait outside with Maria for 15 minutes because we arrived at 4:45PM and they weren’t open yet. It’s fine, another opportunity to practice her silly photo taking!

Let me at the cocktails!

Why am I not drinking a cocktail right now?!

Once we were seated and with drinks in hand, our kind bartender (and very patient I might add, we had SO many drink ingredient questions) took some awesome above-view photos of us 😀

I love the modern “pod” seating!

It was my second time at 116 Crown in September (and ever). I’ll definitely be back! It’d take me eons to work through that drink menu.

Falafel, hummus, cucumber yogurt sauce, pita.

By the time we got to the ultimate dinner destination, Red Lentil, I was staaarving! I’ve been pumped to try the place because it offers unique vegan/vegetarian dishes and had gotten a rave review from Heather. Maria and I started with the appetizer special, the above falafel platter. Be still my heart! It was excellent. I also had the beet-sweet potato-apple latkes. The picture looks totally ugly but they tasted the opposite of ugly.

They may or may not have been equated to “bad weed” in an Instagram comment.

After dinner, I hit the road…but I didn’t head back home like I thought I’d be doing when I woke up that morning. Instead, I responded to a spontaneous text I received during the paint class, inviting me to the Full Moon Onyx Moonshine Party at Taqueria Tavern in West Hartford.

Onyx is an awesome local CT company. I love local, I love booze, and I love unique marketing. Onyx Moonshine has all three of those on its side! You may remember that I worked with them at the Farm to Shaker Bartender Challenge as a cocktail competition judge!

The party included many delicious Onyx drink specials (I had a cinnamon infused Onyx on the rocks that was to die for) and a super-spicy wing eating contest. The photo above includes the two Onyx founders Pete and Adam, and between them is the winner of the wing-eating contest, Judson!

Judson and his winnings!

Judson is a champ. He decided to enter the contest THAT day! He also happens to be the boyfriend of my friend Jennifer! They’re an adorable couple.

Jennifer and I!

I took a bite of one of the wings (DUMB) and my mouth was on fire for almost an hour afterward! I don’t know how these champs did it! JD of Ripe Bar Juice (also from the Cocktail Competition at the Coventry Farmer’s Market) ordered me up a Kahlua drink made with Onyx, and it certainly coated my mouth with some cooling dairy and helped stop the burn.

JD is fearing the wing!

I’m realizing right now that this post is really long and I am only just now getting to the part of it that I have been wanting to write for the last couple of days. This was a long day. I was drinking from 2:30PM to about 10:30PM. I definitely did some chip nomming at the Mexican restaurant. That Kahlua drink most definitely had whole milk in it. I didn’t get home until 11:30PM. The day may have started out Caitlin-style, but it didn’t end that way.

And as fate would have it, the beautiful Becki has started an October challenge that I decided today to join, because it fits with what I want to say today and what I want to DO for myself for the rest of the month and beyond. You can read the details here, but it entails 10 minutes a day of meditating on why you are AMAZING.

I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday after having gone to that party in a panic. I was about to go get my mother out of bed and pour out my heart. I felt worthless. I felt guilty. I felt like I didn’t deserve to have the fun Saturday I’d just had.

But instead of going to get my mom, I took a deep breath. I lay in my bed in corpse pose and tried a calming tactic that has worked for me before. I breathed in and out, and after each breath I said out loud something from my #AmazingMe list. In, out. “I worked out yesterday.” In, out. “I had a wonderful time.” In, out. “I did something I knew would put me out of my comfort zone.” In, out, until I fell back asleep.

After all, only #AmazingMe could have made this painting!

I woke up on Sunday morning still feeling, to put it bluntly, like a piece of shit. I was proud of myself for having worked through my mid-night anxiety on my own, but was still being bombarded by the most hateful, mean thoughts. I went to the gym – yes, partially because I felt like I wanted to get in a workout to “make up” for the previous night. But also because I wanted to be powerful, feel strong, and do something that I enjoyed. I even putzed around the house for a bit before hitting the gym instead of dashing there like I usually do on weekend mornings, because I just wanted to wait it out and go to the Sunday morning spin class, which always leaves me feeling refreshed and has the BEST music. I did a lot of singing-and-spinning that morning.

I took a little social media vacation. I went on Instagram for a second, and realized the last thing I wanted to see was peoples’ food and workouts. Sometimes I’m okay with that stuff, but sometimes it triggers me like crazy. I tweeted that I was going to spend the day doing nothing except what makes me feel good. Then I stayed away from Twitter for most of the day.

After the gym, I took a long, slow, hot shower. I had a date to study with Jenny at J. Rene Coffee Roasters in West Hartford, and was still going because seeing Jenny and drinking coffee in a unique cafe does NOTHING but make me feel good, but I decided to take it slow. I decided not to be go-go-go to the next appointment on my “agenda”. I closed my eyes and sang in the shower, because that felt great. And while I was getting ready to go, Avril Lavigne “With You” came on my playlist and I suddenly got the urge to just dance around my room like a half ballerina, half hip-hop queen. I felt like it’d make me feel good. So, that’s what I did.

Even right now as I write this I am overwhelmed with pride over how much self love I practiced this past Sunday. Almost every activity I did, every action I took, I stopped and asked myself, “Is this what I want to do?” If it wasn’t, I didn’t do it. I still felt the hateful thoughts coming at me from every direction. But I was on a mission to medicate and heal their damage with something other than restricting, than over-exercising. I didn’t want to lose another battle.

At the end of Sunday evening as I lay in bed listening to an inspiring NPR interview recommended to me by Jenny, coloring with my Sharpies, inhaling my Pumpkin Buttercream Yankee Candle, I felt at peace. Again, I still had mean thoughts popping up in my head. I still felt a bit miserable. But getting past this is going to come in increments, and any little peace I can give myself means the world to me and makes me feel proud.

An evening of serenity.

What this all comes down to (I felt a bit word vomit-y as I wrote this but I just kinda let it flow), is the following: Yes, I was beating myself up all Sunday for having a spontaneous Saturday night. BUT I did not curl up in a ball and hide. I did not obsess over how I’d “make up” for what I had “done wrong”. I did not try to punish myself by letting my mind just sit back and take the negative thoughts. Instead I tried to HEAL myself from their damage by practicing self love and doing things that soothed me and taking it easy. I took it easy on myself, and as a result, felt like a fighter. I still feel like one! I didn’t feel that way a couple weekends ago in Tennessee, but this time I feel like I have come out successful in this battle. You lose some, you win some. And hopefully this is the start of continuing to win some!

Have you ever been to a unique BYOB activity or partaken in a crazy food contest?

What do you think about Becki’s Leaf Your Negativity Behind challenge? Who’s with me?!

Tell me a way you recently practiced self love!

One-Year Belated Blogiversary!

The giveaway for a free visit to Blo West Hartford ends TODAY in a couple of hours (12PM EST). Be sure to enter AND hit up the last Pink Thursday at Cuvee tonight!

Yesterday I mentioned that I’d missed my one-year blogiversary! Don’t be embarrassed if you didn’t notice my mention of it yesterday…I wouldn’t be surprised, since you were probably too busy drooling over my recipe for a pesto salmon broccoli pizza. WHICH by the way, was posted to the Gorton’s Seafood Blog! What a nice blogiversary present!

I’ll drink to that!

So I guess this will be a belated blogiversary celebration. And I wouldn’t be surprised if my brain subconsciously forgot about my blogiversary on purpose, JUST so I could use the word “belated” in this post’s title and incorporate alliteration.

My girl Meg looooooves alliteration!

My first post on September 21, 2012 asked the question “Why am I here?” (and eww, I hate how Am and Here aren’t capitalized, what was I doing?!). Some things haven’t changed since then! My life still “moves at a million miles a minute”. This photo was featured in the post, and was taken in May 2011:

Greek lamb burger at BGR in DC.

I still raise my eyebrows most time I pose with food, and I’m still a ham. 

Hamming it up with vegan pizza (wait that doesn’t make sense…) earlier this month.

But a lot has changed since September 21, 2011! Maybe listing my top ten favorite posts I’ve done will help you – and me – see how:

  1. I’m Amazing Because…: This is a given. The post brought me so much inspiration through the way it inspired others. I have never felt so loved as I did whenever I read (and still read) feedback. I still keep my list in my purse and I want to start a full #AmazingMe project someday – but it’ll likely have to wait until after I finish my MBA.
  2. Summer with a Side of Guilt: I think this is the first time I really truly opened up here about feeling anxiety and guilt over enjoying life through eating and drinking. I was nervous to do so, but the encouragement I got from this community made me see that it was totally worth it, and encouraged me to keep opening up in the future.
  3. Why I Didn’t Go To Church Today: I wrote this post on Easter Sunday from La Petite France. The bakery’s atmosphere had me feeling cozy and a trip to Bikram that morning had gotten me in a pensive mood. I really enjoyed using this blog as a place to “sort out” my own feelings about religion and also loved the thoughtful comments the post got.
  4. Fitness Magazine Meet and Tweet: Writing this post was just so much fun and memories of meeting some of my favorite bloggers for the first time still make me feel warm and fuzzy 😛 as do the compliments I got on my recap!
  5. Three Generations Dine at Max Fish: I just had such a good time this night with my family. A memorable meal with great company!
  6. Teachings of BlogHer ’12: I loved sharing with you guys the marketing/blogging techniques I nerded out over at this conference, and also what I learned about myself!
  7. Too Blessed to Be Stressed: Talk about fate! A chance encounter that was meant to be shared on this blog…and it gave me one of my new favorite mantras.
  8. Cafes do Brasil Week in NYC: It didn’t seem like as big of a deal to me back then, but I went into the city by myself for the day and just spent it all in a state of pure bliss. I had my first “blogger event” and felt like my blog and what I had to offer truly had value. I also got to try some fantastic food and taste lots of COFFEE!
  9. Pure Food and Wine: One of the most memorable meals of my life, shared with one of the best gifts blogging has brought me!
  10. A Day at Reebok World HQ!: Another unforgettable experience that made me feel like I’d really “made it” as a blogger! And more meeting and hanging out with so many ladies I’d admired for so long.

Myself and tons of amazing bloggers – still can’t believe I’ve been able to hang out with them several times over!

How am I different? I’ve learned to open up and be more OK with appearing vulnerable – with not being perfect. If doing so will get me support I need to make me happier in the long run, it’s the right thing to do. I’ve picked up countless sources of inspiration and tricks for combating mean mental thoughts, and I’ve filed them away – files that are pulled every day. I’ve found that I’m not alone, and that it’s possible to come out on top, but that it won’t be easy. I’ve realized where my true passions lie, and that whatever they are, I will find a way to live them out. I’ve gotten better at putting myself first…#sorrynotsorry. I can recognize when I’m comparing myself to others, and check myself before I let it go too far – most of the time. When it does go too far, I recognize it and come back instead of declaring failure.

I can do anything!

I’ve built relationships with new friends, with restaurants, with brands, with like-minded people interested in the same things as me (I guess that’s a bit redundant). I’ve explored new places, and experienced old places in new ways!

Are you really surprised to see Heather in this post?

I’m #AmazingMe, one year (and six days…) later!

What’s the more important lesson blogging has taught you?

Think back to where you were a year ago today…any surprises now?

Where do you hope to be a year from today?

Myth-Busting: I Eat At Home!

Thank you to all who entered the giveaway for a case of Barres: The Real Food Bar. I have never had this much participation (197 entries!) in a giveaway before – woo hoo! I used a random number generator to pick the winner:

Congratulations to the winner Daphne!

Please email me with your address so I can forward it along to Julia at Barre – thank you again to all who entered! Now let’s get to today’s post!

Burnt (on purpose) Digiorno pizza slice, broc, black beans, and some turkey burger and grilled chicken with spicy mustard.

I get a lot of comments on both the blog and Instagram, as well as tweets, about how often I dine out. I am always excited to share my drinks and eats from restaurants, whether via restaurant reviews or photos shared on social media. I definitely tend to write about restaurant meals more often than I write about meals at home. For that reason, I think there’s a bit of a misconception that’s developed (and I can see why). I feel like many of my readers think I eat out all the time.

Leftover vegan Wildflour sweet potato & black bean flatbread, purchased during my last visit with Heather, eaten at home after class on Friday.

And while I do dine at restaurants an average of 3 or 4 times a week, I eat at home as well! The truth is, the more nights I eat out, the more stressed I feel. There’s a guilt aspect to that unfortunately. I think there is a stigma our media’s projected about eating at restaurants: that no matter what you order, it’s bad…that if you finish your plate, even if you have room for it, you’ve eaten too much…a lot of all-or-nothing thinking is associated with restaurant meals. I’ve struggled with that for the last couple of years, and it’s especially hard to get over when I love restaurants so much, but I’m working on it.

Leftover vegan Wildflour raw lasagna, purchased during that same visit. Eaten during class on Friday night.

However I also get more stressed the more I dine out because there is really nothing like a relaxing night at home with a home-cooked meal, my family, and the DVR. I’m lucky to be living with parents that are grill maestros (my dad) and healthy dish mavens (my mom). I feel the most satisfied and content on a weeknight after I kill it at the gym, shower, and settle in on the couch in my PJs with my dinner plate. Just thinking about it right now is calming to me. No matter what fabulous tasting I have planned or which unique restaurant I’m headed to, there is no night better than a night in.

Takeout from my fave Mex place in CT, Loco Perro, of East Hampton. Salsa, black beans over sauteed veggies, and shredded chicken quesadilla with light cheese. Enjoyed while watching latest ep of “Newsroom” on the DVR.

I don’t want any of my readers to think that I’m always out eating crazy food and drinking weird martinis every night because that’s not who I am. I don’t have that much energy! The truth is, I’m a homebody. I’m a grandma. I crave routine and I crave calm. I’ve been working on staying home MORE nights each week, for my own mental health. Whether I’m out on a weeknight eating a salad or a four-course wine dinner, I get stressed. It doesn’t matter what I order; it’s just the fact that I’m not home. I want the couch. I want my family. I want the distance from the place I ate dinner to my bed to be nothing more than one flight of stairs.

Pinto beans, cornbread, turkey sausage, squash & zucchini, and Ore Ida frozen fries with spicy mustard. Thanks, parents!

I also wanted to bring this up because I really, really want to get more into the daily life posts that I see very often in the blog world. I want to be relate-able to my readers and also be able to share more about my musings, workouts, and eats each day. I feel like sometimes I put pressure on myself to review every meal I eat out. While I love putting them together, restaurant reviews are time consuming, especially when I get so excited and passionate that I feel like I could write forever and ever. Most of the time I have to STOP myself from including every last detail in a review.

Dinner’s accompaniments 😉 quite a pair.

It’s nice to just open up a new post and write about what’s on my mind at that moment – like I did here. And this is MY blog! My restaurant and tasting reviews aren’t going anywhere, but I’m thinking with daily life posts I can project a more accurate image of who I really am! 

What do you guys think? Would you like to see more daily eats/workouts/fashion posts from me?

Which do you enjoy more – eating out or eating in? Which is more relaxing to you?

What’s your favorite meal to make at home?

What are you opinions on the way our media skews the consequences of dining at restaurants?

I’m Amazing Because…

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a case of Barres: The Real Food Bar! You have until tomorrow (Wednesday) night at 11:59PM EST.

I had a different post planned for today, but this is my blog and it’s an outlet for me, and I’ve got a lot on my mind. A LOT.

So this is what I was doing last night:

Pre-dinner snacks: beer bread, sausage, cheese, peanuts, garlic knot.

Double fisting Chardonnay.

Jeff, Kelly, and I went to the latest Chops N Catch tasting dinner. I drank a LOT of wine. I ate delicious food, some the kind I usually eat…

Grilled romaine heart with Rose’s Berry Farm raspberries, almonds, sesame vinaigrette, and Beltane Farms goat cheese.

Steamers, cod, corn on the cob, potatoes!

…and some the kind that I don’t eat every day.

Ground short rib slider topped with lobster, gruyere, lobster bisque on a brioche bun.

Warm maple bread pudding and Royal vanilla ice cream.

You hear that, brain? I don’t eat it every day. I also don’t drink a glass of wine with each plate at every dinner. However, my mind hasn’t been doing a good job of letting me believe that. From the moment I got home last night til now, I have been feeling downright AWFUL about myself. I feel guilty for having desire to attend, going to, and enjoying last night’s tasting. It’s like if I had gone and had a bad time, I’d feel BETTER right now. How shitty is that? Because I enjoyed myself last night, I feel worse today. I have this ridiculous standard I’m holding myself to. Okay, I could make every bite I put into my mouth clean. I know that’s possible. But is it reasonable? Is that any way to live my life? Is that how I want to eat? No, it’s not. Yet because I’m aware that it’s possible, I feel guilty that I don’t do it.

I was feeling ridiculously low this morning and so I called my girl Jenny and we had a good chat. I let it all out and she and I both marveled at the mean things we find our minds saying to ourselves. “You’re not good enough. You should have done this. You were wrong to even want to go out to eat in the first place.” As I said to her – I would NEVER be this mean to anyone. No one deserves to have to follow a standard of perfection. So why do I have to?!

Jenny shared with me that she was going to strive today to be kind to herself. I love the sound of that. My mind is so often very mean to me. I want to get a handle on it and make it nice. I want it to give me some props! So I decided to make a list of why I’m amazing. And I literally titled it that way. #sorrynotsorry

You know what I realized as I was making it? I couldn’t stop writing! Positive thoughts kept popping into my head – a welcome relief. I have a LOT of reasons to believe I’m amazing. Some have to do with food and working out. Most of them don’t. And all of them are the truth.

That top page has a back!

So without further ado, here’s my list. Read it if you want, but what I REALLY hope you do is make your own list. Share it with me and others! And keep it in a place where you’ll have it often (I’m going to put mine in my purse) so that you can not only refer to it whenever you’re feeling down on yourself, but ADD to it as well! Because let’s face it, you’re not going to realize every reason why you’re amazing in one sitting. There are too many reasons for that to be possible 🙂

Caitlin Is Amazing Because:

  1. I have the best family in the world.
  2. I have a full-time job and had two on lockdown before I even graduated – in a crappy economy.
  3. I have wonderful, close friends and also many new friends I’ve met since 2011.
  4. I’m over my ex-boyfriend and have truly learned so much from that relationship.
  5. I adore healthy foods and eat them regularly because I enjoy it.
  6. I love certain workouts, move each day, and enjoy it.
  7. I have a blog that is only growing in readers, is seen as a marketing tool by brands and Fitfluential, and inspires others.
  8. I’m incredibly organized and enjoy being that way. It comes naturally to me!
  9. I’m look at by friends, readers, and my family as a role model in many areas.
  10. I dress well and have a good sense of style.
  11. I’m hygienic (I floss!)
  12. I get a good night’s sleep most nights.
  13. I have way more good habits than bad.
  14. I enjoy writing!
  15. I relieve stress in positive ways like coloring, exercise, NPR, doing laundry…
  16. I’ve never smoked or done drugs.
  17. I read!
  18. I go to school for part-time for free, though I could easily just have decided not to start my MBA yet.
  19. I listen to NPR and truly enjoy learning about the world through that tool.
  20. I keep my room, car, work area, and the bathroom clean.
  21. I ‘ve been more honest about my rocky relationship with food and exercise on the blog.
  22. I change out my contacts and their solution when it’s time to do so.
  23. I sought mental help for an ED on my own, without anyone forcing me to do so.
  24. I only drink one cup of coffee per day (and hence don’t struggle with caffeine headaches like I used to).
  25. I save 50% of each and every paycheck, without fail, and have been doing so for the last two years at every job. As a result, I have way more saved than most 23 year olds!
  26. I like living at home and do so while still trying to be as independent as possible. And I’m saving a bundle!
  27. I really, truly want to and care about getting closer to and bettering my relationship with my little brother. I could just as easily shrug off the distance between us.
  28. I have 0 credit card debt. Or any debt.
  29. I am thrifty when I can be (Coupon Caitlin).
  30. I’m adventurous with food and drinks.
  31. I stay in touch with friends even when they don’t live near me.
  32. I can run an 8 minute mile.
  33. I ran 8 miles without stopping once.
  34. I appreciate my grandparents
  35. I’m open-minded about movies, music, and books.
  36. I’m pretty.
  37. I have nice hair – a bit wavy and easy to style.
  38. I like how every part of my body looks (right now…worrying about the future is a work in progress).
  39. I don’t gamble more than $20 at the casino.
  40. I’m taking initiative and I wrote this list.
You’ll notice that anything about  my outward appearance truly didn’t pop into my head until #36. Yet I spend so much time worrying about how the choices I make will affect it. Do you see a disconnection there? Try making your own list – you’ll be amazed at these kinds of “revelations” that it will bring about.

How do you practice self love? What’s on your list of why you’re amazing? Comment and tell me or better yet – show me on Instagram or Twitter with the hashtag #AmazingMe!

Summer with a Side of Guilt

Summer is officially here! What comes to mind when you think of summer? I think of warm weather, beaches, family, friends, concerts, sunglasses, flip flops…and parties. Now, get that image of a keg out of your head. That’s not what I mean.

I prefer homemade sangria to a keg.

I mean summer parties, whether in the form of barbecues, bonfires, backyard grad parties, festivals, tasting events…frequency of all of the above really kicks up in the summertime. I already know this from personal experience over the last month – and it wasn’t even summer yet.

Cabernet, strawberries, oranges, and lemon seltzer.

With these parties come the usual suspects – food and drinks. Suspect is probably a poor choice of words though.

Yup, I made that!

It’s a poor choice of words because thinking of the food and drinks at my beloved tastings, BBQs, and shindigs as bad guys is exactly what I’m struggling with…and trying to get away from.

I’ve found that in the back of my mind, as I sip on my sangria and roast my marshmallows, I’ve been battling those nagging feelings of guilt over indulging. A creeping fear that I will enjoy doing so to such an extent, that it will become a daily habit (and hence, no longer an “occasional splurge”).

Kim and I have bonded over our sangria love since we first started hanging out!

Which stinks, because what I really want to do is tell those thoughts to go to hell so that I can have fun with my friends and relax. In fact, Jeff and I have even created a little inside joke hashtag that we can throw out at me when I need to do just that – #CalmDownCaitlin.

Sometimes at summer festivities, I start feeling overwhelmed. I look around at all the good food and refreshing drinks, and I want to try it all. It’s OK to try it all! Then my over-planning mind kicks in: But what if I get full first and overeat? What heavy ingredients are in that dip? How much juice is in that sangria?

White and red sangrias, the right courtesy of yours truly.

Nothing better than crusty bread and cheese!

I am often able to find myself distracted enough by good times to quiet my mind and enjoy myself in the moment. I’m glad I haven’t been missing out on anything.

Yeah, I overloaded on the fruit in the drink.

But often times when I get home from a BBQ or a tasting event, I start dwelling on what I ate. On if it was really “necessary” for me to have a second helping, or if I really “needed” to have  a third glass of wine.

Memorial Day BBQ Dinner

Father’s Day BBQ drinks – white & red wines

OK, maybe I physically don’t need dessert, or cheesy dips, or creamy potato salad. But when I’m surrounded by family and friends enjoying those things, and when I find myself looking at them with envy, that doesn’t matter. It’s what I WANT, not what I SHOULD do, that can guide my decisions and my actions.

Family friends gathered around the dominoes table.

The problem is that I don’t trust myself when I’m surrounded by stuff I get excited about – stuff like this:

But just because I love all the food and drinks at these parties doesn’t mean I’m going to go crazy and eat everything. In fact, it means  it’s the PERFECT time for me to just sit back, enjoy myself, and try the foods that I want to try. Eat the potato salad that I want to eat, despite the fact that it’s got bacon on top. I mean, these fabulous parents are grilling us all this amazing meat and seafood, so why not throw some steak onto my plate next to the chicken?

I honestly am usually more of a savory food lover than a sweets lover, so why not have a bit of that Coca-Cola chocolate cake (below right) if I want it? Eating it will not make me want to eat it every single day from then on out.

There’s a reason everyone, me included, looks happier with an ice cream cone in hand. Ice cream is worth it. Happiness is worth it!

How cute is my friend Erica with her homemade strawberry ice cream?

No use crying over spilled milk, right? So no use feeling guilty over strawberry shortcake either. OK, that was a reach. Go with it.

When I’m smiling like this and having a good time, does it really matter that I’m not being “perfect Caitlin”? That I’m not eating clean? It’s just one day – one meal, even.

My friend Colin, stickin’ his butt in my picture.

I don’t want to look back on my summer, or any time in my life, and regret holding myself back. There are already periods of my life that I feel that way about. I don’t want there to be any more. How can I hold myself back when there are so many good times to be had?

Not sure if this qualifies as a good time.

What’s the benefit of living a physically healthy lifestyle if I can’t be mentally healthy, too? I’ll have this body for the rest of my life, but I’ll also have this mind. And the guilty feelings that invade it and scold me for following up dessert with another glass of red are not healthy.

I want to let go. I want to let the good times roll. I want to come home at the end of the day, take a deep breath, and tell myself that I wasn’t perfect today – and have that be a GOOD thing. I want to CONGRATULATE myself!

About to enjoy a s’more!

Because I deserve to laugh at moments like this…

I deserve to sit around a bonfire and play Catch Phrase with my friends…

I deserve to say “yes” when someone asks me if I’d like a s’more…

Perfect roasting position.

I deserve it all! And that’s OK.

Father’s Day…where are the fathers?

Do you have certain times of the year when indulging stresses you out more than usual? I know the holidays are another time that many worry about.

Do you have any suggestions that have been helpful to you for dealing with feeling guilty over not eating “100% clean”?

What ways are you kind to yourself mentally?

Why I Didn’t Go To Church Today

Sorry I’ve been MIA for the last few days, folks. There’s been a lot of exciting, fun things happening in my life. I may not have won any of the categories I was nominated in for the Websters (but a HUGE THANKS to those who took the time to vote for me – and the winners totally deserved it!), but I was invited by FitFluential to attend an amazing event in NYC next month. It’s hosted by Fitness Magazine! I will join other FitFluential Ambassadors (including Heather, we are driving to the city together, YAY) at Fitness HQ, where we will get to meet editors and other staff, preview new products and fitness/nutrition trends, have a special lunch, try out a pop work-out class (um, RIGHT up my alley), and – best of all – learn about blogging from a panel of four ladies that I admire in a HUGE way!

I will also get the chance to hang out with so many amazing bloggers that I have been wanting to meet for ages. I’ve been reading these blogs for almost three years, and meeting their authors is so important to me. I’m fangirling like mad right now, but I don’t care!

Source

So as you can see, big things are happening for Cait Plus Ate! I am so thankful to you guys for sticking with me since I started this blog in September and being interested in what I have to say. Every moment like this seems more and more surreal and just makes me stop, take a deep breath, and feel extremely lucky.

Example of my great luck – an amazing dad!

That segways a bit into the title of this post, because I recall hearing a Sunday School teacher tell me when I was very young that there is no such thing as “luck”, because that implies something just happened by chance, when God is the one who determines everything that happens in our lives. I’ve always considered myself a Christian. After all, I celebrate all the holidays like Easter and Christmas. And by “celebrate”, I mean my family observes them in some way. I guess I can’t really say that I myself technically observe in a religious way, because I didn’t go to church this past Christmas Eve, and I didn’t go to church this morning. I actually left the house today to come blog at La Petite France right after the rest of my family left for church.

La Petite France has a fabulous new barstool area!

But why didn’t I go to church when my family asked me to join them? The answer is pretty simple – I didn’t want to. I didn’t think I’d get anything out of attending the service. I never have. I wonder sometimes if I should consider myself a Christian, because at times I feel like religion doesn’t play any role in my life at all. I’m not an Athiest, and I don’t even know if I’d call myself an Agnostic – that implies to me that I don’t care. Clearly I do, because every time I listen to a friend’s opinion on religion, whether it be one of deep spirituality or one of extreme atheism, I ponder my own views and wonder where religion fits in for me.

I’ve never gotten comfort out of a church service, a powerful sermon, a moment of prayer, or a Bible scripture. You know, your typical “church things”. Nothing like that has ever resonated with me. Instead, the things that resonate with me and provide comfort and a sense of purpose are, for example, my own accomplishments, a good deed a family member does for me, a moment when I feel like a friend understands EXACTLY what I mean before I even explain, or a particularly well-written passage from my latest pleasure read. The little things. And I know someone could turn around and say to me – well, God created those things and those moments. So you can find comfort in the fact that He created them for you.

But did He? I just don’t know if I buy it. Sometimes I wish that I could close my eyes, pray, and find strength in moments of weakness. But it just doesn’t work for me. Instead, I call my mom. I text my sister. I take a walk. I immerse myself in “the little things”.

A big carnival ride can be a little thing.

So maybe “the little things” are my religion. I wonder about all this, but then I always end up taking a step back without answering my questions about what religion means to me, because the little things seem like enough. When times get rough, at least I know what makes me happy, and at least I know what gives me inner strength. It may not be God, or a church service, or a prayer, but at least I know what it is and can use the little things when I need them.

I was feeling particularly insightful today folks – blame it on the 1.5 hours of thinking I did this morning while sweating buckets during Bikram Yoga. 🙂

Do you consider yourself a religious person? Do you associate yourself with a religion?

What gives you comfort and inner strength – religious or not?

Please let me know any other thoughts in the comments – I’d love to hear feedback on this post!

11 Things

I’ve been tagged in the 11 Things chain going around by three bloggers: Meg, Kelsey, and Amanda. I’m finally getting around to answering those tags, but am gonna do things my own way. I’m not going to say my own 11 things because I now have 33 things to answer since I was tagged by 3 people – it’d just be too much! In that same regard, I am not going to make up 11 new questions and tag people at the end of this, because I feel like so many people have already been tagged. If you want to participate, just answer any of the same questions I answer here! I am trying to a) accommodate my own laziness and b) not make something too long for you guys by changing up my 11 things post in these ways.

Questions by Meg:

1. Who is your favourite celebrity?

Oh Natalie, I love you!

2. What is your favourite TV series?

My favorite show that is still on the air!

3. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Oh lordy. I wanted to be a teacher M-F, a dentist on Saturday, and an artist on Sunday, because I couldn’t choose a career. And apparently was a young workaholic? I am still a workaholic but did not end up with ANY of those three, though I do consider myself a bit of an ar-teest as a marketer and blogger 😉

4. Is your CURRENT hair colour your REAL colour? If no, what is your real hair colour?

Kinda? I get partial blonde highlights because my blonde hair got progressively darker until it became dirty blonde when I was 18 or 19. Couldn’t deal!

Now I feel silly because looking back I'm not THAT dirty blonde!

5. What is your favourite season?

Though I am a summer girl who is always cold, I have to say that my favorite season is fall because of how cozy it is.

6. If you could be an animal, what would you be?

A cat…they are the queens of their houses and can just chill all day!

7. What is your favourite flavour combo?

Anything salty + sweet! I love contrast.

8. How much time do you devote to blogging/blog reading per day?

Probably 2-3 hours total, but spread throughout the day, and more on weekends.

9. When you feel lazy, what is your go-to meal?

I just tend to much on snacks in that case! So a meal made out of snacks.

10. It’s your last day on Earth, what would you eat?

I had to think about this when I signed up for Serious Eats –  Flatbread w/goat cheese and  roasted veggies (app);  J. Gilbert’s filet, baked potato w/butter, grilled asparagus (din); Red Robin’s garlic steak fries + Catsup & Mustard’s half-sour pickles; J. Gilbert’s chocolate ganache cake w/banana liquer. Yeah, I’d be full.

11. Does your exercise routine and eating habits change on the weekend?

Not exercise – I actually never miss a weekend workout because I have more time to work out then than on weekdays. But my eating habits may change in that I tend to go out to eat more and also have a couple of drinks each weekend night.

Questions by Kelsey:

1) If you could only eat 1 meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Probably a giant salad beast because I could put anything I wanted into it and switch it up each time 🙂 sneaky!

2) What is your favorite book?

My all-time favorite is “Ella Enchanted” by Gail Carson Levine. Ooh, now I wanna read it!

Source

3) What was your favorite childhood memory?

Probably all the “shows” that I used to put on as a kid. Whether at home solo/with siblings, or with neighborhood friends. Once we even put on a circus for the whole neighborhood!

4) What’s your favorite joke?

I just love puns. I make them frequently.

5) Who is your favorite actor?

The man…the myth…the Leo.

6) What is your biggest dream in life?

To be a full-time blogger 🙂

7) What’s YOUR favorite number? (did you notice I picked #7 to ask this question? haha)

Kelsey is in love with the #7! I actually don’t have one, never thought of it before.

8) Who was your favorite teacher growing up and why?

My elementary school teachers for 4th/5th grade, Mr. Belowch and Mrs. Pratt, were both amazing, fantastic people. I wonder what they’re up to now!

9) What is your favorite candy?

I don’t eat a ton of candy but my fave candy bar ever is…

10) What is your biggest accomplishment?

I am most proud of starting this blog! But I also achieved the highest grade of 600 students in my Financial Accounting class in my soph year of college and was invited to be a TA as a result – that was pretty cool.

11) What is your favorite thing to wear?

To be honest…

Source

Questions by Amanda:

1. What is your favorite TV show?

See Meg’s #2!

2. Skiiing: downhill, cross country or water (or all/none!)

NONE! No cold for me!

3. Favorite season: winter, spring, summer or fall?

See Meg’s #5!

4. Peanut butter or almond butter?

PB obviously. I feel like I’m the only blogger who doesn’t like almond butter.

My fridge in college.

5. Did you play sports in high school?

No, I just did karate! I dabbled in rec basketball – emphasis on dabble.

2007 rec bball champs!

6. Who’s your favorite singer/band?

At the moment…

Source

7. Country music: yay or nay?

YAY YAY YAY.

8. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks?

A nonfat bold half-caf misto, extra coffee please, sprinkled with cinnamon.

9. What is your current fitness goal?

I think I’d like to say I’ve run a half marathon! But I hate running. Thoughts?

10. What’s your favorite type of exercise?

Choreographed cardio (step, Group Groove, Zumba, etc)

11. What’s your dream job?

See Kelsey’s #6!

Woo! That took awhile but was fun. Hope you guys enjoyed reading my, well, 33 random facts. A little less if you take the repeats into account!

Did any of my answers surprise you?

I Am…

My twino (twin wino) Meg tagged me forever ago in her “I Am” post in which she shared with everyone all the things she is to remind herself of all the reasons why she’s awesome. This sounds like a fantastic idea to me – I have been so busy recapping things I haven’t been able to responded to her tag with my own “I Am” post, but now I’m happy to say I finally am! I struggle sometimes with focusing only on my flaws, or on not feeling “good enough”. This has been something I’ve been trying to overcome for the past couple of years now, and I am excited to write this post because I feel like it will be a good exercise in focusing on the positive!

So without further ado: I am….

Independent (a recent development, but one I am extremely proud of)

Dedicated – a hard worker who does not quit easily

A foodie who values high-quality, wholesome eats – wholesome for the body (SALAD BEASTS) and the soul (dessert anyone?)

A wine-o and appreciator of a good cocktail

FitFluential 😀

Nerdy – and a total bookworm

Grandma-like in many behaviors (early bird, bingo-player, etc)

Pickle-obsessed

Appreciative of the little things

Silly

Technology dependent (I admit it)

Not a fan of children

Lover of my friends and family – I’d do anything for them

Clothing/shoe/accessory-obsessed (thank you, Forever 21)

Camera-crazy

A dance-lovin’ fool

Always cold

Caffeine-addicted

THANKFUL for all I have

What are you?? Time for me to tag some other bloggin’ friends – write a post and tell me what you are! 

My FitFluential Magazine Audition

As some of you may know, I’m part of the fantastic FitFluential community and serve as a FitFluential Ambassador. That means I get to work with some of the most exciting brands in nutrition and fitness, spread the word about my own FitFluential lifestyle, and learn from brands, staff members, and fellow Ambassadors about best practices in blogging, marketing, branding, and more. I’ve been given the amazing opportunity to craft a post that will serve as an “audition” of sorts to fitness and nutrition publications looking for bloggers to work with them. This would be a dream come true, and I’m putting my all into it. So without further ado, here is my FitFluential magazine audition…let me know what you think in the comments!

I’m Caitlin Croswell, and you want me writing about food and fitness for your audience. Just explore Cait Plus Ate, and you’ll see that I’m all about living life in a healthy, fun way, and sharing with readers that it’s absolutely possible to both be healthy and have fun.

I write on a variety of subjects – restaurant reviews, wine tastings, my own workouts as well as others I’ve found useful, beauty products, mental health, and more. I’ve gone through a lifestyle change in the last few years, from a complete lack of a fitness routine and the blandest, carb-iest of eats (not a veggie or fruit in site), to a routine that was way too rigid and structured, to a way of life that I am trying to get to, sustain, and spread to my readers – healthy and fun balance. The mindsets I’ve held over the years make me comfortable and open about communicating with any fans, because I GET what they’re looking for and I know where they’re coming from, whether they’re just starting out in healthy eating or are looking for new fitness challenges.

My passion is what drives me to blog alongside a full-time job and a part-time student status. When I love something, I LOVE it and want to share it with as many people as possible. I’m grateful that I have Cait Plus Ate, and associated Facebook and Twitter accounts, to help me do that. I also am all about giving the brands that I love – and hate – the feedback that will benefit them, as well as connecting the ones I love with my readers. Writing for you is going to make my audience bigger, and that means I get to share my passions with more people – something I’m ALL about.

Take a look around Cait Plus Ate and you’ll be able to see my true personality right off the bat – you’ll feel like you know me from reading my posts. That’s what you need – someone to write for you that your readers can trust and feel friendly with. So let me write for you, and I promise, you won’t be sorry.

Please feel free to share any other reasons in the comments why you think I’d do a great job writing for fitness and nutrition magazines – and any tips or suggestions you have for me and the blog, while we’re at it!

Happiness Goals

Paige of Running Around Normal did a great, positive post today (Friday Link Love) that started with her admitting that she was going to write a more negative post about how she’d had a blah Thursday. But then,  she decided to share some inspirational links from the blog world, and keep things positive.

I feel like my morning has been going the way Paige’s Thursday went. If you follow me, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been a bit of a Debbie Downer so far today, tweeting about this stupid yucky stomach feeling I’ve had the last couple of days that will not go away and has been really screwing with my appetite. But it’s Friday, I have a lot of great plans lined up for the weekend, and I’m going to try to stay positive.

One of my favorite happy pics ever.

I’ve been getting tons of little ideas for things I can do to help me get to my goal of finding balance. I definitely am still working on it – cutting back on planning, on being so rigid on things, on following little “rules”, on being less hard on myself.

I decided to put those little ideas into a list of happiness goals. That sounds so cheesy, but I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m just excited to make this list!

Happiness Goals:

1. Take a bubble bath. Yes, a bubble bath. I have not taken one in eons. I just got a new bottle of bubble bath from my foodie pen pal and it made me realize this. I also have a huge pile of magazines that I want to read. I am going to fix up a luxurious bubble bath, pour myself a glass of red wine, and read magazines. It’s going to be fantastic.

2. Make a daily to-enjoy list. This idea comes from Heather of Where’s the Beach? – each day at the end of her post, she makes a “daily to-enjoy list” that lists all the things she enjoyed about the day. It sounds like a great idea to keep focus on the positive things in life and take focus away from the negative stuff that my brain always seems to grab onto. Really, I have so much to be thankful for, and I certainly know that. I find myself using #firstworldpains in tweets all the time – I know a lot of my “problems” are nothing compared to those that others in the world experience. A daily list like this would help to remind me of that. I’m thinking about tweeting it – Lindsay even suggested using a #toenjoylist hashtag. I’m a hashtag freak like my girl Katelyn, so I’m all over it. I hope that I remember to do this daily tweet at the end of each day!

Definition of enjoyment.

3. Practice meditation. After about a two month wait, I finally got “Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation” by Sharon Salzberg from my library. It comes with a CD that contains four guided meditations, and these are what I really would like to focus on. I’ve been reading the book itself for a little over a week now, but haven’t “had time” to get the meditations in. I want to make sure that I practice each type of meditation in the book, including all four guided CD meditations, at least once before I have to return it to the library. Maybe the potential overdue fees will be another incentive for me to make the time to get the meditations in! Each is only 20 minutes, and I am really interested in learning how to quiet my mind. I may not seem like the most loud person in the world, but my mind is sometimes on par with a heavy-metal concert in terms of volume.

OK, so those are only three goals. But I think it’s a start. Hold me accountable, OK guys?

Now I’m off to go find my lunch appetite. I seem to have misplaced it. It better hurry back because there’s sushi and sake on the menu tonight!

Do you have any “happiness goals”? Anyone care to join me on any of these?

Meet Caitlin

I’m a 28 year old full-time working girl living in Boston (previously lived in Connecticut). I’m passionate about food/drink, restaurants, self-love, fitness, and the ever-present search for balance. I write about that journey on this blog – I hope you enjoy!

Social

Design Credit

My header was originally designed by Mai Le and later tweaked by Chris Roggi to match this theme, which he helped me customize. He also moved me over to self-hosting! Both can be contacted through their sites for design & development work!

Disclaimer

I am not an RD and do not have any official training, certifications, or degrees in nutrition or fitness. This blog is a way to write about my life. Any views I express are mine alone, based on what works for me, and should never be taken as medical advice. Always talk to your doctor or a trained professional before starting a new diet or fitness plan. In addition, this blog and its content are in no way affiliated with Kate Gosselin, “Kate Plus 8”, TLC, or any related affiliates.

Privacy Policy

I allow third party companies to serve ads and/or collect certain anonymous information when you visit this blog. These companies may use non-personally identifiable information (e.g. click stream information, browser type, time and date, subject of advertisements clicked or scrolled over) during your visits to this and other Web sites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services likely to be of greater interest to you. These companies typically use a cookie or third party web beacon to collect this information. To learn more about this behavioral advertising practice visit the NAI at http://www.networkadvertising.org. To opt-out of this type of advertising, you can visit http://www.aboutads.info/choices.