Tag Archives: amazing me

#AmazingMe Monday

My Facebook giveaway for two tickets to CONNetic Dance‘s Suite & Spicy Nutcracker, appearing this weekend at the Wadsworth, will end tonight at 11:59PM EST. I highly encourage any CT readers to enter – I will be attending the matinee this Sunday myself!

Firstly, I want to acknowledge the fact that it is not only my own little alliteration-celebration (#AmazingMe Monday), but it is also Marvelous In My Monday (MIMM) hosted by the lovely Katie. Whatever I want to call this post, it’s gonna have a lot of positive in it, but big props to Katie to bringing awareness to the marvelous every Monday!

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CT NOW Love Your Body 5K

Hello, Monday readers! I hope your weekends were wonderful. Mine was pretty good! I’m going to start this post off with a tummy update. I have been experiencing nausea, stomach cramping, and other GI stuff off-and-on for almost three weeks now. After my first two frustrating doctor’s visits (during which I was told it was a virus), I finally had a third appointment with my regular doctor. It’s been a lot of waiting for test results, but I’m happy to report that I’m that much closer to an answer to this whole mess. I was just hoping to test positive for SOMETHING and I got a call on Friday afternoon reporting to me that, low and behold, I had. My tests revealed the presence of a bacteria that can cause the on-and-off symptoms I’ve been experiencing and there is an antibiotic that can treat it. I immediately felt flooded with relief. I honestly was going to be panicky if my tests had shown nothing wrong. Images of being a Dr. House impossible-to-diagnose case have been flashing through my mind.

Of course, if this fine man was treating me, maybe I could keep a positive mindset. Source.

The antibiotics that can treat this bacteria tend to have side effects of even worse nausea though, so my doctor does not want to put me on them until they get the last of my test results back (hopefully on Monday). Once it’s confirmed that I have tested negative for everything else except this one bacteria, I will be treated for it. They don’t want me on these antibiotics unless I have to be, especially since it is so important for me to feel the best I possibly can so that I can get in the calories I need. I understand that for sure, but am also anxious to start the medication so that I can be sure that this bacteria really is what is causing my symptoms. I was so excited to test positive for something that I didn’t catch the name of the bacteria or meds when I was on the phone with my doc – oops. I will try to get them from her today and report back to you guys.

Superwomen!

Now onto the subject of this post! Awhile back I announced that I’d signed up for the CT Chapter of the National Organization for Women‘s Love Your Body 5K  at the West Hartford Reservoir. I’m thankful that my good blend Maria was game to sign up with me; together we formed Team #AmazingMeI could hardly believe race day was already here when I woke up Saturday morning. Unfortunately my stomach was not 100% upon first waking but I rested at home for a couple of hours, drank up an apple cider vinegar and water “cocktail”, and popped an Imodium before I hit the road.

I’m one amazing, Fitfluential lady!

Since the race took place so close to Halloween, Maria and I immediately wanted to plan matching costumes. I decided that pink superheroes would be perfect for us. We love our pink and it fit perfectly with our team theme! I got a couple of fairly nice tech tees from Wal-Mart, and we decorated them with Sharpies before the race started. I represented the team name and Fitfluential on my tee, while Maria represented the team and Sweat Pink, for which she is an ambassador.

I loooove running skirts – and hot pink sneakers! Also wore my beloved Sweaty Band from the Fitness Mag Meet & Tweet swag bag!

I couldn’t believe Maria was able to find pink superhero capes, but she did! Actually, I think they were supposed to be pink vampire capes, given the classy collars. They still fit our purpose and everyone understood that we were supposed to be superheroes – with the exception of one little girl cheering for me at the finish line saying, “GO ballerina, GO!” OK, ballerina works too!

Maria testing out the cape after first putting it on. How much do you love her socks?

The cape passed the test!

After getting “dolled up”, we made a porta-potty pit stop (bleh) and picked up our numbers. The cherries on top of our costumes were these awesome signs that were available to fill out before participants proceeded to the starting line.

Not ours but I sure liked these ideas!

It was so inspiring throughout the race to see each participant wearing a sign that displayed how proud they were of themselves. Some even used their signs to display affection for the important people in their lives – and really, aren’t they truly better than any “perfect” body part? I especially loved the sign on one man running in front of me at a point that said “I Love My Love (Lori).”  Whether Lori is his wife, girlfriend, sister, best friend, it’s pretty clear that she lights up his life and he wanted to remember her while he ran. I myself am trying to get away from seeing my body parts individually. I am so used to honing in on one part of me (most often my stomach) and criticizing myself for imperfections, even when I rationally know that a perfect body is NOT the path to happiness and that many things “wrong” I see with myself aren’t even there. It has really been helpful to me to stop myself whenever I find myself concentrating on one body part, and focus on the entire amazing me. That’s why I filled out my sign as follows…

Maybe the vampire collar was going to my head.

Maria went a similar route!

Woooo bod pod!

We decided to start out running together, but if one of us picked up a faster pace, she was of course free to move forward. Immediately I started out feeling pretty good and surged a little bit ahead. I still carefully monitored my stomach – at the first feeling of nausea, I planned to scale it back.

Thanks for this great pic, Maria!

The race course was gorgeous. The West Hartford Reservoir is incredibly beautiful and I had only gone running there during the summertime. The sight pictured above truly took my breath away. As I ran by each lake-and-leaves scene I felt overwhelmed by the beauty before my eyes and I truly felt a wave of “zen” wash over me. It’s amazing what nature can do!

Throughout the race course there were NOW CT volunteers spread out with encouraging signs. It was a fantastic addition to the 5K! My favorite sign said “Si Se Puede!”…anyone else remember that Disney Channel original movie? I also was a big fan of this guy with his “You Are Wonderful!” sign. I pointed at him and said, “No, YOU are!”

Our costumes were a huge hit! A lot of people I ran by smiled and cheered for me, saying, “Nice cape!’ I think I need to just wear this costume every day of my life because those smiles certainly made me feel great. The cape stayed on well despite the fact that it was only secured around my neck by one piece of velcro!

Unfortunately as I was going down one of the last big hills of the course, I got a REALLY bad stitch in my side. Maria came up behind me and stopped to check on me, advising me to massage the cramp. I did so while breathing out for as long as I could (I heard that this helps side cramps) but did have to stop and walk. For a second I felt disappointed in myself, especially as the folks I’d previously passed were passing me. However the feeling quickly passed. I mean, I have not been feeling my best and here I was running a 5K! My body needed walking and I gave it just that. As I neared where I knew the finish line was I felt confident that the cramp had passed and picked up the pace to a jog, and then a run. Once I was close to the finish line I saw that the clock read 29:40. In the back of my mind I’d had a goal to finish this 5K in under 30 minutes, so I broke into a sprint and crossed at the (unofficial) time of 29:54. Amazing Me indeed!

Maria and I post-race!

My friend and former co-worker Brian was working at the finish line and handed me a water bottle. He is the one who told me about this event and I am so grateful that he did! It gave me a chance to donate to a cause I believe in, feel inspired, and hang out with a good friend in a beautiful setting.

Thanks Brian! He loves his quads!

The post-race swag was quite impressive! The shirts actually fit well and I am wearing mine today at work. I love representing a race or event in the workplace – yay for a casual dress code in my office!

Oops, mirror image. #selfieproblems

However the very best part of the swag was, to me, the fact that they offered bananas of varying ripeness. I have never seen that before…there were both plain yellow and brown-spotted bananas. Most people are very particular about their banana ripeness and I don’t know if it’s just me but I was seriously blown away that there was a choice for runners!

Plain yellow…

…and brown-spotted too! This was my choice.

Maria and I also snagged some natural lip balm, White Chocolate Macadamia Luna bars, oranges, and Chewy bars (you’re welcome, little brother).

Me with my swag bag!

Something else caught my eye at the swag table…local CT wine?! Turns out the top three male and female finishers each got a bottle. I joked that if I had known, maybe I would’ve picked up the pace a bit 😛 and suggested they gift the only costumed runners with wine as well. I got a “maybe next year!” in response to that. Nice try, Caitlin.

Unfortunately after we got to our cars, Maria and I had to part ways. She had errands to run and a best friend’s birthday to prep for, and I had (still have…) a paper to write. But I left happy that I’d seen her, proud of myself for walking when I needed to, and pleased that I was still feeling good in the tummy! Oh, and extremely grateful for such a WARM October day. Seriously, I don’t mind this part of global warming.

Thank you to the CT Chapter of the National Organization of Women for putting on a great event with an inspiring message!

Have you ever dressed up for an athletic event? What was your costume?

Have you ever participated in a love-your-body centered event? Did it inspire you?

What’s the best race swag/tee you’ve ever gotten?

Fashion Friday: Celebrate Your Style!

I’m hosting a giveaway on the Cait Plus Ate Facebook page – open until today (Friday 10/5) at 3PM EST! New England (excluding Fairfield County, CT) and Albany, NY readers can enter to win one free small cup of Newman’s Own Organics coffee from McDonald’s every week for almost a YEAR! I am not a customer of McDonald’s for their food but I will take a free cup of black coffee any day…hoping some of you will too!

Thank you all for your many congratulations yesterday on my post announcing my appearance in the North Atlantic region holiday issue of Whole Foods Magazine! I’m still pretty blown away and it’s not even because I’m hoping to gain new readership from this. That actually didn’t occur to me until some point yesterday! What I’ve really been focused on is taking this as a sign of recognition that this blog is enjoyable to others, and that’s really my top priority – along with making sure it’s still enjoyable to me!

Still would tweak my description a bit but still beyond grateful!

Another priority is getting self-hosted! I want to be able to get the stats I need from Google Analytics to put together a kick-ass media kit. I’ve been putting off making one because I don’t want to send out something incomplete to brands I want to work with or magazines I’d like to freelance for. I want to show what I am really capable of with a complete media kit. After BlogHer I resolved that I’d get self-hosted within a couple of months and while I unfortunately haven’t met that goal, I have hired someone to help me out and I have a development site up and running on a new host! The next step is getting the layout all set – I’m going to get a new look (I’m even springing for a paid theme *gasp*) and I can’t wait for you all to see what the blog will look like!

In honor of Becki‘s Leaf Your Negativity Behind October challenge, I am going to make today’s Fashion Friday a particularly positive one. I feel like when I see other bloggers’ fashion posts or Instagrams, sometimes I find myself wishing I had the clothes they’re wearing or wondering if I could “pull off” that look. Yes I know there are more important things in this world, but comparison traps are everywhere and even lurk among all those #ootd’s.

That’s why I want to make today’s Fashion Friday about celebrating your style. So this post is not going to tell you where each outfit is from, like it usually does. Instead it’s going to tell you why I chose to share that look and what it says about MY sense of style, and no one else’s. I’m encouraging everyone else to do the same today, whether in a post, tweet, FB post, whatever! “Leaf” negativity and comparison traps behind. Celebrate your own sense of style and your look!

Before the HLS ’12 Chobani dinner!

To me this outfit goes back to my days as a little girl who LOVED wearing dresses. I still love wearing dresses but living in New England, most of the year I’m too cold to do so. But my favorite thing to wear will always be a dress like this – floral, flowy, something I just want to spin in circles in!

I feel like my sense of style revolves around a “theme” each day. I think I sometimes confuse my co-workers because I’ll go totally casual one day, then the next day show up in a fancy dress. I try to tie everything together with accessories so my shoes make sense with my shirt, my bracelets make sense with a dress, etc. The above outfit is very tropical-vacation! Makes me think of what I might wear when I go visit my grandparents in FL this December 😀 #grandma

The above outfit is SO me. I adore bright, delicate florals. I almost always “cuff” my jeans or jeggings when I wear them. And I love bright, fun flats! Oh, and a messy bun is ALWAYS easier than…anything.

Oops, here I am wearing jeggings with no cuffs 😛 but there’s the bright, fun flats – my beloved fruit flats! I definitely think they say a lot about my sense of style – I like to pop in little “quirks”. I wouldn’t exactly wear a dress covered in a fruit print (though I did express desire for a watermelon skirt in last week’s Fashion Friday…) but shoes covered in fruit? They’re like the cherry on top – or in this case, on the bottom, and fruit other than cherries. I also wear a lot of lace, and I like how the bright neon of this top is again very me! I shy away from neutral colors because they “bore” me. I want to excite myself and those around me with what I’m wearing! It makes me feel good and that is what fashion is all about.

So don’t be afraid to celebrate you today. Celebrate your style – it is YOURS and no one else’s. Don’t compare your clothes, your accessories – your ANYTHING – to anyone else. There are more important things in life than fashion, yes, but if you are able to truly celebrate anything about yourself, even just how you rock a new top, then that’s an amazing thing! It takes a lot of hard work to truly celebrate yourself! So “leaf” negativity behind and accept that you are amazing 🙂

Tell me what your favorite part of YOUR style is in the comments, on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram! Use the hashtags #AmazingMe, #FashionFriday, and/or #LeafNegativityBehind!

A Whole New Accomplishment!

Thank you to those who entered my Mohegan Sun BrewFest giveaway! I’m pleased to announce the winner…

Leah of A Lil of This…A Lil of That! Thank you for entering and I will be contacting you about getting your passes to the BrewFest session of your choice!

Remember everyone, tickets to this weekend’s event are still just $20/session and you can attend Saturday 12-4pm or 6-10pm (I’m going to that one), or Sunday 12-4pm. So many choices, so many beers…you have to be there!

I have such exciting news to share! I have been aware of this announcement since Monday but was waiting until I had photos to include in this post before doing a “reveal post”. It was hard…believe me. But now I’m here writing this, and I can SHOW you all my big news, and I’m so glad I waited.

Whole Foods Market puts out a magazine in its stores for customers to have for FREE, and the holiday edition just started arriving in the 28 North Atlantic region stores yesterday (yes I know, holidays already). Before you decide to hold off on picking up your copy until after we actually get to Halloween, you’ll want to know that this issue is all about the FOODIE, a category I definitely would place many of my readers and myself in. And apparently, Whole Foods agrees.

I spy with my little eye…

The early pages of this holiday issue contain a section called In the Market, with a feature titled “On the Web: Fresh Voices” about “food-loving bloggers right here in New England”. And the last (but not least, don’t worry! :-P) blogger on that list just happens to be AMAZING ME!!!!!

And major props to fellow Fitfluential Ambassador Elizabeth of On Tap for Today for being featured too!

I was so shocked and honored when Whole Foods contacted me to let me know that I’d be in the magazine. The Connecticut stores recommended me to the North Atlantic region’s PR department! As if they haven’t been kind enough to me already. And the PR department was kind enough to send me several copies of the magazine for myself…obviously I need way more than one.

However I didn’t think the department would get me my copies in the mail so quickly, so last night I hit up my closest Whole Foods. The helpful customer service staff gave me a few copies of the magazine from the back despite the fact that it’s not sitting out in stores just yet. Another local store hadn’t even received it yet. But hopefully by next week the magazines (all 200,000 copies!) will be sitting out in North Atlantic region stores if anyone wants to pick one up 😉

Last night, this big news played a huge role in my participation in Becki‘s Leaf Your Negativity Behind October challenge. Yesterday was not the best of days. My stomach wasn’t behaving and feeling crappy physically does not lend itself to fighting if I’m feeling crappy mentally. But before bed I did my meditation on positive truths about myself. And this Whole Foods accomplishment was just what I needed to focus on and allow myself to be proud of all I have done with my blog in only a year. Who cares if I had a glass of wine with dinner last night? I’m in a WHOLE FOODS MAGAZINE. I deserve it!

Encouraging note my sister left me in our bathroom once after I’d had a stressful night…it now has a permanent home in my room above my bed!

While I do wish that I’d had some input in the magazine’s description of my blog (I feel like “healthful diet” does not really describe what I am trying to attain…more like a happy, health physical and mental life), I am again taking Becki’s advice and leaving the negativity behind. My blog is in print! The people of Whole Foods think it’s worthy of their magazine! And the bloggers I’m featured with are so incredibly talented. Being in their company is truly an honor!

This big news just makes me want to dive into my blog in an even bigger way and get to an ideal balance of posts about foodie events, restaurant reviews, my mental struggles, fitness, daily life, giveaways…I feel like my fall semester workload and increasingly busy full-time job have been getting in the way of that! Part of me is worried that a few months from now, Whole Foods will be wondering why they put me in their magazine. But wait…that’s negativity. That does NOT have a place in the celebration of such accomplishment. Nope, not allowed.

So thank you all for supporting me over this past year (and longer to you “real life” readers 😛 ) and thank you Whole Foods for recognizing my blog! And GO ME!

What’s your biggest “blog accomplishment” so far? Everyone has one, even someone who just started. I declare this post’s comments to be a BRAG BONANZA!

Do you have a Whole Foods near you? I know some of my readers are Whole Foods “deprived”!

Here Comes a Fighter

Have you entered my Mohegan Sun BrewFest giveaway yet? Don’t forget – you could win two passes to this weekend’s beer bonanza! Giveaway closes tomorrow (Wednesday 10/3) at 12PM EST.

Geez, so far fall has been extremely busy in terms of my full-time job!By the time I got home last night from my post-work gym session all I wanted to do was sit on the couch with my mom and watch the season premiere of Grey’s on the DVR with dinner. And wine. So that’s what I did – no blog post.

My setup at Art With a Twist in New Haven, CT!

But now I’m ready to blog about this past Saturday. As I mentioned in Sunday’s brief giveaway post, I have a lot to say! The day started out in typical Caitlin fashion – spin class and #plankaday, a few hours of much-needed study time at Daybreak. Then I hit the road for New Haven to have a date with Maria of Pappa Don’t Preach! We’ve never been able to do a good one-on-one hangout before, but we are two peas in a pod and I’m so grateful to have met her through blogging. She drove all the way from Stamford to meet me at Art With a Twist for a BYOB painting class! We used a Groupon🙂 of course.

Maria listening to our instructor, the fabulous Bella Zadore.

Maria did a great job sharing more photos of Art With a Twist’s lovely location, and info about the business itself, in her recap! We decided to go sweet on the booze and shared Riesling and champagne. Thanks Maria for introducing me to Asti! It was delicious.

Everyone painted the same illustration, but then everyone’s came out looking different. My water turned out a bit sickly looking, and Maria pointed out that I was just trying to paint the Long Island Sound. Truth.

Pondering the sounds of the Sound…champagne in hand.

I also must’ve still had BlogHer on the brain because my palm trees looked like Lorax mustaches.

Lorax #1

Lorax #2. He’s unimpressed. Source

I was doing a little too much hating on my painting, so Bella sprinkled me with confetti as “punishment”. Okay okay, I complained on purpose so that I could get showered in confetti. Who doesn’t love that?!

There’s a 30% chance it’s already raining.

I had a great time chatting with Maria about our gym sessions that morning (of course) and also taught her how to take silly photos. She deemed me a silly photo queen. I am honored!

Help me take silly photos, Caitlin!

Don’t mind if I do!

How amazing are the “men/women” signs for the bathrooms?! Bella is so creative! She decorated everything in Art With a Twist herself.

Blogger in action.

Despite the fact that my painting did not look like Bella’s, I’m gonna refrain from saying that it wasn’t as good as Bella’s. After all, she wasn’t painting the Long Island Sound!

It’s beauuuuutiful!

Stealing this from Maria’s post…BYO-Blend!

You are what you…paint?

After class we hit up 116 Crown for a pre-dinner cocktail. Because when you’ve been drinking since 2:30PM, why stop?

I ordered the Negroni!

Unfortunately before I could even get to the point of ordering, I had to wait outside with Maria for 15 minutes because we arrived at 4:45PM and they weren’t open yet. It’s fine, another opportunity to practice her silly photo taking!

Let me at the cocktails!

Why am I not drinking a cocktail right now?!

Once we were seated and with drinks in hand, our kind bartender (and very patient I might add, we had SO many drink ingredient questions) took some awesome above-view photos of us 😀

I love the modern “pod” seating!

It was my second time at 116 Crown in September (and ever). I’ll definitely be back! It’d take me eons to work through that drink menu.

Falafel, hummus, cucumber yogurt sauce, pita.

By the time we got to the ultimate dinner destination, Red Lentil, I was staaarving! I’ve been pumped to try the place because it offers unique vegan/vegetarian dishes and had gotten a rave review from Heather. Maria and I started with the appetizer special, the above falafel platter. Be still my heart! It was excellent. I also had the beet-sweet potato-apple latkes. The picture looks totally ugly but they tasted the opposite of ugly.

They may or may not have been equated to “bad weed” in an Instagram comment.

After dinner, I hit the road…but I didn’t head back home like I thought I’d be doing when I woke up that morning. Instead, I responded to a spontaneous text I received during the paint class, inviting me to the Full Moon Onyx Moonshine Party at Taqueria Tavern in West Hartford.

Onyx is an awesome local CT company. I love local, I love booze, and I love unique marketing. Onyx Moonshine has all three of those on its side! You may remember that I worked with them at the Farm to Shaker Bartender Challenge as a cocktail competition judge!

The party included many delicious Onyx drink specials (I had a cinnamon infused Onyx on the rocks that was to die for) and a super-spicy wing eating contest. The photo above includes the two Onyx founders Pete and Adam, and between them is the winner of the wing-eating contest, Judson!

Judson and his winnings!

Judson is a champ. He decided to enter the contest THAT day! He also happens to be the boyfriend of my friend JenniferThey’re an adorable couple.

Jennifer and I!

I took a bite of one of the wings (DUMB) and my mouth was on fire for almost an hour afterward! I don’t know how these champs did it! JD of Ripe Bar Juice (also from the Cocktail Competition at the Coventry Farmer’s Market) ordered me up a Kahlua drink made with Onyx, and it certainly coated my mouth with some cooling dairy and helped stop the burn.

JD is fearing the wing!

I’m realizing right now that this post is really long and I am only just now getting to the part of it that I have been wanting to write for the last couple of days. This was a long day. I was drinking from 2:30PM to about 10:30PM. I definitely did some chip nomming at the Mexican restaurant. That Kahlua drink most definitely had whole milk in it. I didn’t get home until 11:30PM. The day may have started out Caitlin-style, but it didn’t end that way.

And as fate would have it, the beautiful Becki has started an October challenge that I decided today to join, because it fits with what I want to say today and what I want to DO for myself for the rest of the month and beyond. You can read the details here, but it entails 10 minutes a day of meditating on why you are AMAZING.

I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday after having gone to that party in a panic. I was about to go get my mother out of bed and pour out my heart. I felt worthless. I felt guilty. I felt like I didn’t deserve to have the fun Saturday I’d just had.

But instead of going to get my mom, I took a deep breath. I lay in my bed in corpse pose and tried a calming tactic that has worked for me before. I breathed in and out, and after each breath I said out loud something from my #AmazingMe list. In, out. “I worked out yesterday.” In, out. “I had a wonderful time.” In, out. “I did something I knew would put me out of my comfort zone.” In, out, until I fell back asleep.

After all, only #AmazingMe could have made this painting!

I woke up on Sunday morning still feeling, to put it bluntly, like a piece of shit. I was proud of myself for having worked through my mid-night anxiety on my own, but was still being bombarded by the most hateful, mean thoughts. I went to the gym – yes, partially because I felt like I wanted to get in a workout to “make up” for the previous night. But also because I wanted to be powerful, feel strong, and do something that I enjoyed. I even putzed around the house for a bit before hitting the gym instead of dashing there like I usually do on weekend mornings, because I just wanted to wait it out and go to the Sunday morning spin class, which always leaves me feeling refreshed and has the BEST music. I did a lot of singing-and-spinning that morning.

I took a little social media vacation. I went on Instagram for a second, and realized the last thing I wanted to see was peoples’ food and workouts. Sometimes I’m okay with that stuff, but sometimes it triggers me like crazy. I tweeted that I was going to spend the day doing nothing except what makes me feel good. Then I stayed away from Twitter for most of the day.

After the gym, I took a long, slow, hot shower. I had a date to study with Jenny at J. Rene Coffee Roasters in West Hartford, and was still going because seeing Jenny and drinking coffee in a unique cafe does NOTHING but make me feel good, but I decided to take it slow. I decided not to be go-go-go to the next appointment on my “agenda”. I closed my eyes and sang in the shower, because that felt great. And while I was getting ready to go, Avril Lavigne “With You” came on my playlist and I suddenly got the urge to just dance around my room like a half ballerina, half hip-hop queen. I felt like it’d make me feel good. So, that’s what I did.

Even right now as I write this I am overwhelmed with pride over how much self love I practiced this past Sunday. Almost every activity I did, every action I took, I stopped and asked myself, “Is this what I want to do?” If it wasn’t, I didn’t do it. I still felt the hateful thoughts coming at me from every direction. But I was on a mission to medicate and heal their damage with something other than restricting, than over-exercising. I didn’t want to lose another battle.

At the end of Sunday evening as I lay in bed listening to an inspiring NPR interview recommended to me by Jenny, coloring with my Sharpies, inhaling my Pumpkin Buttercream Yankee Candle, I felt at peace. Again, I still had mean thoughts popping up in my head. I still felt a bit miserable. But getting past this is going to come in increments, and any little peace I can give myself means the world to me and makes me feel proud.

An evening of serenity.

What this all comes down to (I felt a bit word vomit-y as I wrote this but I just kinda let it flow), is the following: Yes, I was beating myself up all Sunday for having a spontaneous Saturday night. BUT I did not curl up in a ball and hide. I did not obsess over how I’d “make up” for what I had “done wrong”. I did not try to punish myself by letting my mind just sit back and take the negative thoughts. Instead I tried to HEAL myself from their damage by practicing self love and doing things that soothed me and taking it easy. I took it easy on myself, and as a result, felt like a fighter. I still feel like one! I didn’t feel that way a couple weekends ago in Tennessee, but this time I feel like I have come out successful in this battle. You lose some, you win some. And hopefully this is the start of continuing to win some!

Have you ever been to a unique BYOB activity or partaken in a crazy food contest?

What do you think about Becki’s Leaf Your Negativity Behind challenge? Who’s with me?!

Tell me a way you recently practiced self love!

One-Year Belated Blogiversary!

The giveaway for a free visit to Blo West Hartford ends TODAY in a couple of hours (12PM EST). Be sure to enter AND hit up the last Pink Thursday at Cuvee tonight!

Yesterday I mentioned that I’d missed my one-year blogiversary! Don’t be embarrassed if you didn’t notice my mention of it yesterday…I wouldn’t be surprised, since you were probably too busy drooling over my recipe for a pesto salmon broccoli pizza. WHICH by the way, was posted to the Gorton’s Seafood Blog! What a nice blogiversary present!

I’ll drink to that!

So I guess this will be a belated blogiversary celebration. And I wouldn’t be surprised if my brain subconsciously forgot about my blogiversary on purpose, JUST so I could use the word “belated” in this post’s title and incorporate alliteration.

My girl Meg looooooves alliteration!

My first post on September 21, 2012 asked the question “Why am I here?” (and eww, I hate how Am and Here aren’t capitalized, what was I doing?!). Some things haven’t changed since then! My life still “moves at a million miles a minute”. This photo was featured in the post, and was taken in May 2011:

Greek lamb burger at BGR in DC.

I still raise my eyebrows most time I pose with food, and I’m still a ham. 

Hamming it up with vegan pizza (wait that doesn’t make sense…) earlier this month.

But a lot has changed since September 21, 2011! Maybe listing my top ten favorite posts I’ve done will help you – and me – see how:

  1. I’m Amazing Because…: This is a given. The post brought me so much inspiration through the way it inspired others. I have never felt so loved as I did whenever I read (and still read) feedback. I still keep my list in my purse and I want to start a full #AmazingMe project someday – but it’ll likely have to wait until after I finish my MBA.
  2. Summer with a Side of Guilt: I think this is the first time I really truly opened up here about feeling anxiety and guilt over enjoying life through eating and drinking. I was nervous to do so, but the encouragement I got from this community made me see that it was totally worth it, and encouraged me to keep opening up in the future.
  3. Why I Didn’t Go To Church Today: I wrote this post on Easter Sunday from La Petite France. The bakery’s atmosphere had me feeling cozy and a trip to Bikram that morning had gotten me in a pensive mood. I really enjoyed using this blog as a place to “sort out” my own feelings about religion and also loved the thoughtful comments the post got.
  4. Fitness Magazine Meet and Tweet: Writing this post was just so much fun and memories of meeting some of my favorite bloggers for the first time still make me feel warm and fuzzy 😛 as do the compliments I got on my recap!
  5. Three Generations Dine at Max Fish: I just had such a good time this night with my family. A memorable meal with great company!
  6. Teachings of BlogHer ’12: I loved sharing with you guys the marketing/blogging techniques I nerded out over at this conference, and also what I learned about myself!
  7. Too Blessed to Be Stressed: Talk about fate! A chance encounter that was meant to be shared on this blog…and it gave me one of my new favorite mantras.
  8. Cafes do Brasil Week in NYC: It didn’t seem like as big of a deal to me back then, but I went into the city by myself for the day and just spent it all in a state of pure bliss. I had my first “blogger event” and felt like my blog and what I had to offer truly had value. I also got to try some fantastic food and taste lots of COFFEE!
  9. Pure Food and Wine: One of the most memorable meals of my life, shared with one of the best gifts blogging has brought me!
  10. A Day at Reebok World HQ!: Another unforgettable experience that made me feel like I’d really “made it” as a blogger! And more meeting and hanging out with so many ladies I’d admired for so long.

Myself and tons of amazing bloggers – still can’t believe I’ve been able to hang out with them several times over!

How am I different? I’ve learned to open up and be more OK with appearing vulnerable – with not being perfect. If doing so will get me support I need to make me happier in the long run, it’s the right thing to do. I’ve picked up countless sources of inspiration and tricks for combating mean mental thoughts, and I’ve filed them away – files that are pulled every day. I’ve found that I’m not alone, and that it’s possible to come out on top, but that it won’t be easy. I’ve realized where my true passions lie, and that whatever they are, I will find a way to live them out. I’ve gotten better at putting myself first…#sorrynotsorry. I can recognize when I’m comparing myself to others, and check myself before I let it go too far – most of the time. When it does go too far, I recognize it and come back instead of declaring failure.

I can do anything!

I’ve built relationships with new friends, with restaurants, with brands, with like-minded people interested in the same things as me (I guess that’s a bit redundant). I’ve explored new places, and experienced old places in new ways!

Are you really surprised to see Heather in this post?

I’m #AmazingMe, one year (and six days…) later!

What’s the more important lesson blogging has taught you?

Think back to where you were a year ago today…any surprises now?

Where do you hope to be a year from today?

5K Fashion Friday!

Be sure to enter my giveaway for Mama Micki’s vegan cookies – you have until tomorrow (Saturday 9/22) at 11:59PM EST to enter!

I’m still so relieved to know that I’m not alone in feeling what I shared on Tuesday. I would never be happy that others are experiencing any negative emotions, but it is comforting to know I’m not alone, and I can see that many of you share the same sentiment. I always get paranoid when I open up here but I never end up regretting it because you’re all just so very kind and understanding!

This seems like a fitting time to announce that I recently signed up for the Love Your Body 5K on Saturday, October 20th! The run is being put on by the CT Chapter of the National Organization for Women and will take place at the beautiful West Hartford Reservoir. I highly encourage anyone in the area to sign up and join fellow blogger Maria and I on Team #AmazingMeThere’s no “official” sign-up process to start a team, but if you sign up and want to join us then simply shoot me an email and let me know so that I can keep you in the loop on where we’ll meet up before the race and costumes(YES we are ABSOLUTELY dressing up and suggestions are welcome!)

My dear friend Jenny and I on a hike in the Reservoir!

Registration is just $25 before the race and $30 on race day, so if you’re on the fence you won’t be losing out on too much money by deciding to show up last minute. But you MAY lose out on the advance notice needed to put a costume together 😛 fair warning! Proceeds benefit the CT NOW Foundation and they are still looking for sponsors, so if you are a local business interested in showing support for an empowering movement then you can email them here!

Now let’s get down to it. I know you guys enjoy Fashion Friday and I do too, even if it means I’m slowly revealing the  size of my closet to the public – it’s actually a small closet, but way more full than it should be. Oops. But fashion makes me happy (and so does donating clothes I don’t wear anymore!) so I will keep filling (and periodically emptying) that closet of mine with more material for more Fashion Fridays. After all, there are 52 Fridays in a year!

Disclaimer:I am completely kidding and am in no form promising you all 52 (multiplied by 4-5 outfits per post) unique outfits per year. Now that would be obscene.

Like my work badge?

Top: Urban Outfitters

Necklace: mystery to me

Watch: Fossil

Jeans: American Eagle

Shoes: Toms

Top: H&M

Watch: gift from grandpa

Rings: Forever 21

Pants, Shoes: Urban Outfitters

Bow: Samantha American Girl doll (not a joke)

Earrings: Forever 21

Cardigan: J. Crew

Cami: Hollister

Watch: Michael Kors

Ring: Forever 21

Jeggings: American Eagle

Wedges: Francesca’s

Headband, Earrings, Ring: Forever 21

Top: Urban Outfitters

Watch: NYC flea market

Belt, Jeggings: American Eagle

Shoes: Urban Outfitters

I also just found one of the tops from last week’s Fashion Friday on Urban Outfitters online SALE section!

Which outfit is your favorite?

Got any ideas for costumes for Team #AmazingMe? Remember the Love Your Body 5K takes place just 11 days before Halloween, so the possibilities are truly endless!

Have you ever attended a Love Your Body – themed event?

Losing a Battle Isn’t Losing the War

Timing can be scarily appropriate – today my guest post on Grow Soul Beautiful is just the kind of post I needed to re-read so that I could internalize my own words and the message I am trying to send my readers – and myself! Please check it out, writing it was so therapeutic to me and I hope that comes across to you all.

OK. Time to tell you about my weekend in Tennessee. I have a lot to get off my chest. But first of all, I’ll start with the good stuff.

Dinner with my family right after I landed (I took a taxi from the airport to the restaurant) at Chesapeake’s, an amazing Knoxville seafood spot.

Rare ahi tuna, sauteed spinach, ginger soy wasabi sauce.

Speedy treadmill run the next morning – thank goodness for hotel gym TVs to occupy me. Ran the first 5K in 27:51!

Felt great after…

Went to go see my sis’s apartment – big fan of this sign in her kitchen!

Her view rocks. That lamp on the right was mine in college!

I love her living room’s orange & blue color scheme!

I so wish I went to a school that was big into football. What energy!

LOL. Sorry Britt!

I suppose I started having trouble with this weekend away to visit my sister at University of Tennessee in Knoxville after I got back from our family dinner on Friday night. I’d had a few drinks, cleaned my plate, had a couple of rolls, and shared a dessert. I did not feel overly full. Heck, I didn’t even really feel that full. But I kept “adding it all up” in my head, and it seemed pretty ridiculous in my mind that I had consumed those calories after sitting on airplanes all afternoon.

Hang the Gators! Note: These were all taken down the next morning…after we’d lost.

My morning workout made me feel happy and accomplished for about…an hour. Then I started thinking about the day’s tailgating festivities. What food would be there? How much would I drink? How much SHOULD I drink? Would I be able to tell how many calories I was consuming since alcohol doesn’t give me any feelings of full-ness? What if drinking made me more apt to overeat? I quickly became mentally EXHAUSTED, and it wasn’t even noon yet.

Me and my mom with an inflatable Smokey Dawg!

I took a walk with my mom to Calhoun’s for something I was so very excited for…a meetup with my twino (twin + wino), MegWe have been blends since I started my blog almost a year ago and when we first “met”, she was in Denver going to grad school. I really never thought we’d get to hang out in person one day. My happiness and the way we seamlessly started chatting like we’d known each other for YEARS certainly temporarily distracted me from my worries.

My dad ordered me that dress last night…SO PUMPED. Isn’t she beautiful?

I met Meg’s welcoming boyfriend, as well as his parents and friends. I just love being with fellow Vols! Something that I don’t get to do often in CT. Everyone was all smiles and so spirited. Random Tennessee Vols chants were breaking out, I was sampling glazed donut vodka (yes it exists and it’s pretty good!), and taking selfies.

Meg’s boyfriend Whitt had a little brother over at the frat houses that he was anxious to meet up with, so I walked with him and Meg as far as I could until it was time for us to part ways so I could head back to my family. I hope I see Meg at another game next fall – or sooner! It’s still surreal to me that we got to hang out!

Orange solo cups, so necessary!

I felt myself come down from a whiskey buzz and an emotional high with each passing minute at my next tailgate. I snacked, and I hung out with my wonderful relatives and friends that I hadn’t seen (in some cases) for years. I could never really let go and enjoy myself though. I was smiling, but inside I was panicking.

I wore Sperrys in honor of meeting Meg!

I was honestly on the verge of bursting into tears the last half hour before it was time to walk over to Neyland Stadium to get to our seats and watch the football game. I was so excited to meet up with the amazing, strong Sloane, who has been such a huge support system for me since we first met a few months ago. Just like my meetup with Meg, I really never thought I’d get to meet Sloane since she lives in TN.

Sister and I – the girls dress so cute on game day!

It was time to go to the game, and I couldn’t take it any longer. Voices in my mind were scolding me for drinking, questioning how much I’d eaten at the tailgate, asking me if my home workout the day before had been enough, and reminding me of eating dessert at Chesapeake’s. I pulled aside my wonderful mother and finally let myself cry behind my mondo sunglasses. I told her I was going to stay in the room, and I just couldn’t do it. She completely understood – everyone did. Even Sloane. I’m so lucky to have such fantastic family and friends.

My adorable parents – I can credit my existence to UT, which is where they met!

The wallowing I partook in and shitty feelings I experienced for the remainder of the evening are not worth commenting on. I don’t want to relive them. I’m glad I had Heather there to leave me an encouraging voicemail, Sloane there to text me, and my mom there to hang out with me in the room (she decided to sell our pair of tickets for a pretty penny).

The next morning my feelings turned from fear of not being good enough to guilt over what I’d missed out on and letting the thoughts and their power over me win. I’ve been doing pretty well this summer with these weekend trips, during which I am often out of my comfort zone. But this time, the whole trip was just too quick (landing at 8PM on Friday and taking off for home at 8AM on Sunday does not make for relaxation) and badly timed (with the way my night classes have started forcing me to do lighter morning workouts instead of post-work hardcore gym sessions). And so I gave in and cowered, too mentally exhausted to fight and tell myself all the reasons why I don’t deserve to be so mean to myself.

And what happened? Well, I didn’t come away from the trip with any proof that I can use to fight disordered thoughts in the future. I love it when I put myself out of my comfort zone and come out of it with everything being OK. It makes for great ammo to use later on in this battle. Nope, I don’t have any of that now.

And I don’t think I can ever say sorry enough times to Sloane for the fact that my giving into my guilt resulted in us not meeting. We were literally less than a mile from each other, and yet I couldn’t walk that less than a mile to the football stadium to see her? Why? My legs were working and my heart was full of excitement and anticipation. Why did this struggle have to be enough to cripple those legs and why did the voice in my mind have to overpower the heart in my chest? Sloane, I am so very sorry that I didn’t fight harder. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t tell myself that I’m amazing and that I deserve to enjoy myself with a close friend who has been there for me since day one.

I have to put this behind me. I have to remember that to consider myself a failure for how I handled this past weekend would only be continuing to let the part of me that messed this up be the winner. I’m amazing. I’m fighting. I’m living this battle. I may be the underdog right now but I KNOW I will come out on top.

Have you ever dealt with regret as a result of how you handled a situation?

Do weekends out of your routine ever throw you? How do you deal with it?

Anyone else feel me on the Southern football love?

Too Blessed To Be Stressed

I’m continuing to see #AmazingMe love flow in and it makes me so happy! Sharla tweeted to me her list of why she’s amazing, and Meg want so far as to create a whole page devoted to her list called Marvelous Me (adore the alliteration, girl). I just might create a similar page with my list as well as links to all the list you guys have been sending me. Keep ’em coming!

I had so much to say after this past weekend of mental challenges that I realized only about a couple paragraphs into yesterday’s post on how I handled an active rest day that I’d need more than one post to cover everything. I know I can get very long-winded sometimes when I blog 😉 so I’m spreading the love and continuing my weekend recap today. I will be summarizing the CT Bloggers event at J. Timothy’s Taverne this past Saturday night soon, but for now, let’s jump to spending Sunday at MGM Grand Foxwoods for their Liquid Sunday pool party.

View from my parents’ room on the 23rd floor!

My parents and I love to take little weekend and day trips together! Over the last couple of summers we have established a tradition of going to MGM Foxwoods for their pool parties, which take place on Sundays from 12p-6p. The pool becomes open to non-guests (guests can still get in for a reduced cover price) and as the event has gotten bigger each summer, celebrity guests have been added. My parents usually stay the night Sunday to Monday, and I head home Sunday evening after we have dinner to go back to the real world.

Look at their room’s huge stand-up shower! With a seat option, haha.

 

I was pretty annoyed because we arrived around 10:30am to hit the pool early since my parents were paying guests of the hotel, but found out that we couldn’t get in until 12pm and would have to wait in line with everyone else. I was peeved and letting this get to me way more than it should have, but my mom and I found a solution when my dad carried some pool chairs we found over to a nice sunny patch of grass near the pool’s entrance.

Elle, Whole Foods iced coffee, new H&M bikini…I’m all set!

And a pear, obviously.

Gold is essential at the casino!

The line to get into the pool actually never went away, even after it opened at 12pm, but the temperature was the perfect amount of warmth – great for laying out and not too hot that I felt like I needed to go throw myself in the pool. So, we saved $10 each and never had to go in! I even started chatting with one of the security guards, and he was kind enough to run into the pool area and bring my mom and I some free bottles of ice cold water. I was blown away by the service of the MGM Foxwoods security guards!

Those Wildflour kale chips and Ste. Michelle Riesling aren’t from the security guards, but they were still damn good together.

In another great example of security guard service, or just fate in general, a kind guard named Jon trotted over to my mom and I and asked us how we were doing and if we needed anything from him. He was a joyful man who seemed to just be loving life. We thanked him profusely for his kindness and assured him we were doing great at our grassy spot. What he said next really hit home. He smiled widely at me and said, “Ladies, it’s like I always say. You’re too blessed to be stressed.”

Blessed with the best dad ever.

I was speechless for a second, and then my face broke into a wide grin. “I LOVE THAT!” I exclaimed to him! His smile grew wider (didn’t even know it was possible) and he just said, “Y’all, I love God, I love life, I love you all. Have a beautiful day!” And then he bounded off (yes, bounded), and I just sat there, reflecting on what brought this happy man to me to send me a message that I’ve needed the last few months more than ever.

Posing on the outdoor patio of our dinner spot, Alta Strada.

Later in the evening, my parents and I dined outside, where I enjoyed a fabulous flatbread half clam/half prosciutto pizza and a basil lime gimlet. I kept reflecting on Jon the security guard’s words, and was honestly just feeling really emotional as a result. I guess I wasn’t the only one because I raised my glass in a toast to thank my parents for all they do for me, and it turned into quite a lovefest as my dad held my hand, looked into my eyes, and said, “I’m so proud of you. You are so perfect. I love you so much.”

Aren’t the precious?

I enjoyed myself throughout the day and at dinner, partially still riding on a high of Jon’s faithful words. Also partially because I was riding on a high over getting to meet the Liquid Sunday guest of honor, Audrina Patridge of “The Hills”.

UM SQUEE.

It worked out great that MGM wouldn’t let us into their pool before 12pm, because otherwise we wouldn’t have chosen the grassy spot outside the pool gates where I ended up seeing Audrina getting interviewed before her appearance! I ran over and like a huge nerd, stuck out my hand and introduced myself. She looked at my hand like it belonged to an alien (I’m guessing she isn’t used to people my age formally introducing themselves!) but was super sweet about taking a photo. I even snapped a quick “selfie” with my iPhone. I had to Instagram and crop it so that I wouldn’t look naked thanks to my bikini tube top. After I got my photos, she went in through the pool gates and began her appearance. I’m sure I never would’ve gotten to meet her if I’d been in that crowded pool party with the other guests! More fate making my day better!

NBD.

But back to the real point of this post. I arrived home after finishing dinner and hugging my parents goodbye. I chatted with my sister for a bit, got in bed, and did my color-while-listening-to-NPR routine. And then I went to sleep. But I awoke in the middle of the night plagued by negativity. I felt like I was starting to panic. I thought about the Riesling and cocktail I’d drank, the fries I’d finished off my dad’s plate, the laying around I’d done at the pool. I dwelled on finishing my entire flatbread and sipping on some of my mom’s red wine after dinner. Then I laid on my back in a savasana-like pose, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and saw this:

The Basil Lime Gimlet!

And this…

And even this:

I took a cue from my own #AmazingMe post and saw the positives of my day, of my life. It was amazing how hard my mind fought to throw negativity back at me. It was bickering taking place in my mind. “What an amazing spin class you  had this morning,” I said. “Well, you missed the first 15 minutes of it because you slept in,” my mind said back. “At least that gimlet was FABULOUS and unique,” I thought. “Well, you shouldn’t have drank it. Alcohol is empty calories,” my mind said. But I kept it up. I kept telling myself why my day, my life, I was amazing. And what pushed me through to keep  fighting were Jon’s fateful words: “Too blessed to be stressed.”

I ended up falling back asleep, and feeling pretty good when I woke up the next morning. I was proud of myself for making the conscious effort to take my own advice and make an effort to be positive. And in savasana too – clearly was still feeling inspired by Om Street Yoga! Heck, looking back on this I am still proud. Jon’s words remain in my mind (in a good way) and I don’t know what brought him over to my mom and I, but whatever it was, it was the perfect example of fate giving me a tool I need to help with my anxiety. I couldn’t wait to come here and blog about this today and share my experience and triumph with you all!

(And I also couldn’t wait to share my Audrina run-in. I admit it.)

Have you ever had a run-in with a celeb?

Have you ever had a fateful run-in with a stranger? What was your last brush with fate?