Leaving Behind An Empty Life
On Sunday morning I opened an email from a fellow blogger, sent to me in response to this post. It contained a sentence that really stood out to me, and also inspired me to write this post, which has been brewing in some form or another in my head for the last few weeks. The sentence was: “… I realized that the weight I had previously been was in no way sustainable unless I lived a life that was isolating and inherently quite empty.”
That photo of me was taken in August 2010, soon before I sought help for an eating disorder. 100% honesty – I love how I look in that picture. I felt confident that day. I felt attractive. But do you know what else I felt? Hungry. I remember I packed a wrap for lunch (I’d skipped breakfast) using a 90-calorie FlatOut wrap. After I finished it, I barely felt a dent in my hunger, but I didn’t eat again until dinner. I’d skipped breakfast and worked out that morning. While my friends bought ice creams at the beach, I tried not to watch them enjoying their summer treats. I tried to give myself props and tell myself it was all worth it.
